FRAMLINGHAM, SUFFOLK – Graham Diggard Jr., the feckless son of eccentric Hay Farmer Graeme Diggard, was caught with his pants down after a humiliating rejection.
Farming Correspondent (intern): Ivor Traktor
When his heart-wrenching marriage proposal to long-time girlfriend Wendy Potter. The farm’s voluptuous milkmaid, was met with a resounding ‘no’, Diggard sought solace in the arms of another.
Enter Sally Brownfield, the buck-toothed stable-girl from the neighboring “flat farm” owned by Ermintrude Brownfield. It seems love knows no boundaries, not even hedgerows. As Diggard and Brownfield shared a steamy encounter atop a mound of straw in one of Flat Farm’s fields.
Exciting climax
The passionate couple were so absorbed in their newfound romance. That they failed to heed the approaching rumble of Ermintrude Brownfield’s baling machine. The clatter of the machinery grew louder as Mrs. Brownfield unwittingly approached, leading to a climax of sorts.
In a blizzard of dust and decadence, Diggard and Brownfield found themselves swept up by the machinery. Their entwined bodies encased within a round bale, with only their undergarments and ankles protruding from the agricultural lovenest.
Peeping Graeme
Diggard senior was quick to respond, having witnessed the calamity from his nearby tractor cab. Eventually freeing the star-crossed lovers from their hay-filled prison with his pitchfork. Despite their embarrassment, the star-crossed lovers emerged unscathed from their ordeal, albeit slightly dishevelled and considerably more sheepish than before.
Hay farmer’s failure
As for Diggard’s (hay farmer) failed proposal, it seems he’s taken it all in stride. Embracing the old adage that there are plenty more fish in the sea—or, in this case, horse-faced stable-girls in the fields.
And while Wendy Potter may have slipped through his fingers. It appears Graham Diggard Jr. has made for himself, an exciting new love life, tangled though it may be.
Meanwhile: Farmer’s son ‘udderly heartbroken’ at marriage proposal rejection
