RIVER ORWELL, SUFFOLK –  The Environment Agency has enlisted the help of Suffolk River Police to crack down on unlicensed fishing in the county’s rivers and canals.

By Our Crime Editor: Rob Banks

The innovative, albeit extreme, strategy involves deploying squad cars directly into the waterways, a sight that left many Suffolk residents doing a double take.

Roger Freeman, the ever-vocal chairman of the Suffolk Angling License Monitoring Organization Network (S.A.L.M.O.N), did not mince words. “This is just another example of two-tier policing,” he declared. “Violent criminals roam our streets, day and night, unimpeded,  and yet we see these extreme measures to catch Jim the Fisherman who’s allowed his fishing license to expire for a couple of days. It’s a bloomin’ disgrace!”

Cops cast a wide net

As squad cars bobbed up and down in the water incongruously in key locations along the county’s picturesque rivers, the public reaction ranged from bemused to outraged. Local anglers, previously only wary of the occasional fishery officer, now found themselves under the wary gaze of police officers floating down the rivers, armed not with fishing rods but with fines and citations.

One witness, Lorraine Fisher, a 34-year-old local who enjoys her daily riverside strolls, was flabbergasted. “I was feeding the ducks when I saw a police car in the water, its blues and twos going gangbusters. At first, I thought it was an elaborate prank!” she laughed. “Whatever next? Police helicopters chasing after birdwatchers?”

The Environment Agency defended the measure, citing the significant loss of revenue due to unlicensed fishing. “We need to protect our natural resources and ensure that those enjoying our waterways are doing so legally,” an agency spokesperson said, seemingly unfazed by the public backlash.

River Police gone viral

Meanwhile, social media was abuzz with photos and memes of the police cars afloat, with many questioning the practicality and cost of such an operation. As the controversy continues to ripple through Suffolk, one thing is clear: in the battle against unlicensed fishing, the police are well and truly making waves.

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