A lovesick Suffolk man is entering a third week in a coma after an overdose of Viagra rendered him comatose during a dreamy rendezvous with a woman he met on a dating site.

By Colin Allcabs, Consumer Editor

Phil Skinner, 56 who reportedly suffers from the double whammy of a tiny penis and erectile dysfunction, decided to take the “belt and braces” approach ahead of a romantic evening with Sandra, a Big Beautiful Woman (BBW) he’d connected with online. Ignoring the fine print on the Viagra prescription, he ingested not one, not two, but FIVE of the little blue pills in anticipation of an unforgettable night of amour.

Bitter pill to swallow

As the evening progressed, it became clear that, like the Pastry Chef at the Ipswich Harvester, Phil had ‘over-egged the pudding’ when it came to the dosage for a successful night of sexual intercourse. Witnesses reported that a beetroot-faced Skinner passed out mid-dessert, leaving Sandra to grapple with a decision: finish her profiteroles or accompany her unconscious date to the hospital?

Romance after Viagra

Now, residing in a pharmaceutical-induced slumber, Phil lies supine, blissfully unaware of the incredible erection which perseveres two weeks on. Sandra, a woman of pragmatism, has reportedly visited Phil on several occasions. Speculation abounds that her frequent hospital visits are not solely fueled by romantic concern but also by the unfortunate reality that, with Phil unconscious, she was left to settle the restaurant bill.

In a gesture of unwavering optimism, Sandra patiently awaits Phil’s awakening, not just for the sake of her heart but, it’s rumoured, for the reimbursement of the cost of dinner.

End of love story

Only Cupid knows whether Phil and Sandra’s love story will end-up as light and airy as a cream filled profiterole, or as stodgy as a faceplant in a bowl of Jam Roly Poly and custard, but in the meantime, our thoughts are with Phil and his massive boner.