NORFOLK – Norwich City FC, died after a brief illness in the Premier League on Friday night.

Norwich City leaves no trophies and a handful of delusional supporters.

Born in 1920 and raised by local kitchen hand, Delia Smith, Norwich City led a largely undistinguished life before luckboxing it to the Premier League this season.

Unfortunately, while gloating at the fortunes of bigger cousin Ipswich Town, Norwich City became sick and retreated to its care home in Carrow Road, where it suffered a fatal dose of Being Beaten By Bottom Club Watford on Friday night.

Symptoms were debilitating and included Norwich City replacing useless Watford at the bottom of the table. Fortunately, the end was quick and death came within 90 minutes.

It came as a relief to the handful of supporters present at Carrow Road that the death peaceful. You could have heard a pin drop.

The last known photograph of Norwich City is printed below, with the kind permission of the Norwich City Supporters’ Club.

Details of the funeral service will be released shortly. Delia Smith has asked for no flowers, but donations of bottles of wine can be made to her office.