First, it was Cumbria, then Wiltshire. Now, sexy Exeter’s sidewalk ’Sin Bins’ are cumming between locals

Regular readers of the SUFFOLK GAZETTE will recall how Cumbria County Council ‘rubbed cum in our faces’ as it renamed its local places of interest with FILTHY, SEX-related names. Then, it was Wiltshire Council, South West England, which renamed a local beauty spot ‘Wilsford cum Lake’ in a bid to attract DISGUSTING tourists.

Now, it’s brazen-faced Exeter County Council’s turn to join the local government bandwagon of FILTH! The FOUL civil servants of the Devonish City have harked back to the city’s DIRTY Roman-era roots by introducing sidewalk cum bins for locals to ejaculate into! DISGUSTING!

Haws Exeter criticizes whores

Also used by local sex workers to dispose of used prophylactics (W.C. ‘condoms’), the ‘Sin Bins’ as they have been dubbed by locals have caused uproar in the local community – especially among more conservative senior citizens. Local resident, Marjorie Haws, chair of the Exeter chapter of the campaign group Residents AGainst Everything (RAGE) told this reporter “Itth compwetewy unactheptable” (Marjorie has a terrible lisp) “The good people of Extheter, abthowutewy, do not wish to have other peopleth CUM thpwattered all over our th-tweets, and thertainly not thpwattered in our fath-es!”

Charity shop drop

But not everyone is in agreement with Haws. I caught up with local nutter, ‘Mad Brian’ after I chased him down the High Street, stomping along in his full-length denim coat and Dr. Martens boots. I asked him what he thought of the new sex disposal facilities. “What? Sex? Yessssssss! I seen them bins. Yesssssss! I will be using them for sure. I like a good armoured tank. Yessssssss! Sometimes I do it in the changing room at Oxfam. I peep over the top of the curtain looking at the ladies underwear and then I have a quick fiddle. Yessssssss! I can see me wanking into them bins. Definitely! Yesssssssssss!”

So there we have it. The people of Exeter split down the middle on the issue of the new sidewalk ‘Sin Bins’.

Next Week! Read about Exeter City Council’s new ‘In Exeter, we bin our GUM’ campaign to rid its streets of unsightly chewing gum.

W.C. = Working Class