Salad shipments to the UK have been lost at sea after a Spanish cargo ship hit an iceberg (lettuce) in the English channel.

The San Juan De Radish set sail out of Bilbao on Tuesday bound for Liverpool, but due to a cold snap in the channel, and unbenkownst to the coast guards of both Spain & the UK, ice bergs (lettuces) had quickly formed the previous night. If you think that is not possible, just think about how you make (lettuce) ice cubes.

The cargo Salad ship is said to have collided with the iceberg (lettuce) at around 3.oo am on Tuesday. In a tragic mix-up reminiscent of the horlicks the Titanic’s lookout made of spotting icebergs (lettuces), the Spanish lookout, who had reportedly been up all night drinking Patxaran and playing cards, had accidentally taken a cucumber to his post instead of a telescope.

Ensalada flotante

The accident caused the loss of 165,000 tons of Spanish salad including: lechuga (iceberg), tomate, cebolla y cebolleta, ajo, palta, pepino, raíz de remolacha, olivos y apio.

The loss of more salad could not have come at a worse time for the hungry people of the United Kingdom, despite the fact that it is currently winter when nobody eats the stuff. This hasn’t stopped the mainstream left-wing media banging on about it of course, as it tries to dupe the stupid working class people of Britain into believing it has something to do with Brexit, forcing them change their tiny minds and agree to rejoin the European Union after the Labour Party wins the next election under Keir ‘Second Referendum’ Starmer. Probably.

Fortunately, no lives were lost in the accident and a happy consequence of the sinking was that thousands of passengers in passing migrant boats on their way to the UK were able to stock up on supplies for their journey.