THE SKY OVER DUBLIN, EIRE – Ryanair has unveiled its groundbreaking seating plan strategy to squeeze even more money out of its passengers.
By Izzy Jett, Aviation Correspondent
The low-cost airline, notorious for its no-frills approach, has replaced traditional seats with fully functional commodes, allowing passengers to answer nature’s call at 30,000 feet. However, the convenience comes at a price – literally.
With ingenuity that could make even the most seasoned entrepreneur blush, Ryanair CEO Michael O’Potty proudly announced the innovative move on a flight from Dublin, claiming it would revolutionize the air travel experience. “We’ve always been committed to providing affordable flights, and what better way to enhance the passenger experience than by putting toilets at their immediate disposal?” O’Potty declared on the press flight, seemingly oblivious to the sniggers and raised eyebrows.
Ryanair seating plan
Passengers on Ryanir’s fleet of Boeing 737s will now have the luxury of relieving themselves without the inconvenience of navigating narrow aisles to reach the toilets. However, this newfound comfort comes at a price, as Ryanair introduces a groundbreaking pay-per-pee model. For a mere £1, passengers can unlock the privilege of utilizing the commode during the flight, ushering in a new era of “budget bathroom breaks.”
Big business
The business world predicts that this move will propel Ryanair’s profits to new heights, with estimates suggesting an additional 2 million euros in revenue annually. “It’s a genius business model,” said financial analyst Penny Pincher. “They’ve managed to turn a basic human necessity into a profit centre. Who would have thought that poo could be so lucrative?”
Industry experts predict that other budget airlines might follow suit, introducing innovative ways to monetize basic human needs during flights. As the aviation world watches with bated breath, Ryanair seems poised to flush away the competition in its quest for soaring profits.
