WINDSOR CASTLE, UK – Prince William, the heir to the British throne, has been crowned the sexiest bald man in the world for 2023.
The royal scalp, sometimes adorned with more jewels than thinning follicles. Beat out stiff competition from the likes of Vin Diesel, Jason Statham,. and Jeff Bezos who were left tearing their hair out at the results.
Hirsute salute
Prince William, famous for his charming smile and regal demeanor. Now adds another accolade to his royal repertoire – the global ambassador of bald allure. Fans and admirers worldwide have dubbed the future King’s bare pate. The epitome of regal sexiness. Putting a shine on the popular royal more shimmering than the sunlight reflecting off of his princely head.
Rumors abound that Meghan Markle, never one to be outdone, has dispatched her husband, Prince Harry, to the barber’s shop for a preemptive buzz cut. Insiders suggest that the Duchess of Sussex. Horrified by her brother-in-law’s newfound title, wants Harry to embrace the razor and join the ranks of the smooth-scalped elite.
Hair to the throne
As fans celebrate Prince Williem’s achievement, royal watchers speculate. That their hero’s newfound title may usher in a golden age of acceptance of chrome-domes. Baldness, it seems, is no longer a mere absence of hair.but a dignified symbol of power, charm, and undeniable sex appeal.
In the race for follicular fame, it seems that William is destined to rule not just Britain.and the Commonwealth but also the realm of regal baldness.
Long live the King – and his gleaming, eggshell crown!
