Following the controversy caused by American plus-size model and TV presenter, Ashley Graham’s excruciating red carpet OSCAR interview with upper-crust British actor, Hugh Grant, the SUFFOLK GAZETTE presents the great ‘Are you rude or just being British?’ Quiz. Could you handle a banal interrogation from a dumb American celebrity without rolling your eyes or slowly shaking your head in disgust? Answer these simple questions to see if you can cut the British mustard!

When someone sneezes, what is the correct British response?

a) Say ‘bless you’ after each sneeze.
b) Say ‘bless you’ after the last sneeze.
c) Say nothing and then open a window.

Which of the following phrases are commonly heard in British institutions?

a) My learned friend.
b) The right honourable member for Westminster.
c) The referee’s a wanker.

When meeting someone for the first time, should a Brit…

a) Offer to shake the stranger by the hand?
b) Kiss the stranger on the cheek?
c) Stick a blade in the stranger’s belly and take their valuables under threat of being shanked?

In Britain, if your neighbour’s car is regularly parked outside your house rather than their own, should you…

a) Politely mention it and ask if they would be more considerate?
b) Park your car outside their house in retaliation?
c) Key your neighbour’s car and put letters through all your other neighbours’ letterboxes accusing the car owner of being a drug-dealing paedophile and benefit cheat?

If you are invited to take tea with the Queen, what should you wear?

a) A pearly king or queen outfit.
b) Tweed skirt suit with twin set and pearls.
c) A pre-loved shell suit formerly owned by Jimmy Saville?

ANSWERS : All the answers are correct! Well done! Now go to America and be rude British!