Hospitals were last night dubbed ‘like the homes of white van men’. by Labour MP and shadow Attorney General, Emily Thornberry,.as she alleged that patients were being left like ‘builder tools’ in ambulances overnight.

Class snob and property multi-millionaire, Thornberry (67), is an expert on white vans ever.since she started photographing them in Rochester, Kent during a 2014 by-election campaign. Her collection of white van photography is said to comprise over 6,000 images of white Ford Transits,.Vauxhall Combos, Mercedes-Benz Sprinters, and similar taken in mainly working-class areas across the UK.

Sliced cucumber

To meet their pledge to treat all patients within four hours of admission,.the government is said to be allowing hospitals to keep seriously ill patients in ambulances outside accident and emergency departments. Known as ‘patient stacking’, the practice can include patients who have swallowed balloons,.set their own hair on fire, or lost multiple limbs whilst slicing cucumber. Despite the four-hour pledge, a Suffolk Gazette investigation has revealed that waits can last for more than 1,000 hours.

Bougie Nugee

Socialist impersonator and private school mum, Thornberry, aka Lady Nugee (married to Lord Nugee as she is) last night announced from her passing gold carriage, that “Whereas hospitals used to be for poor folk like you lot, they are now being sold off by those horrid Tories to rich, entitled, elites like… me. This simply will not do. Ambulances, which I’m told are like cheaper versions of my golden carriage but with some medical stuff in them, are being used like the vans of white men, to store tools overnight. I mean patients.”

Patients to stay in ambulances overnight

Thornberry continued her announcement through the window of her golden coach, as it sped through a working-class part of Islington, on its way to the opera house, knocking over some hungry street children as it careered on two wheels around Highbury Corner. “As I said, hospitals are now like the homes of white van men, and ambulances are like the vans of the white van man. This is the fault of the Conservatives. I hereby decree that I, Lady Nugee, shall continue to work closely with, and photograph, the white van families of Kent, Suffolk, and other remote parts of the UK, until no patient is ever again left waiting in a white van outside a white van man’s house… or hospital. Coachman! La bohème, tout de suite!”