PAKEFIELD, SUFFOLK – In a plotline straight out of a Carry-On film, local building contractor Brian Champion has become an unintended sensation among the lonely hearts and sleazebags of the internet, all thanks to his rather unfortunate initials.

Brian Jehoshaphat Champion, known professionally as B.J. Champion, has long prided himself on his work ethic and attention to detail in the bricklaying trade. His van proudly displays his name, phone number, and fax number, intended to attract clients in need of high-quality construction services. However, it appears the van’s signage has attracted a different kind of attention.

The source of the confusion? Brian’s initials – B.J. – which, to the uninitiated, are a common abbreviation for a certain intimate act known as the ‘Blow Job’. This harmlessly intended designation has led to an influx of calls and faxes requesting, quite explicitly, services far removed from bricklaying.

Jumping Jehoshaphat!

“My wife and I have been inundated with messages,” lamented Brian, visibly flustered. “I thought the phone was ringing off the hook because people were impressed with my tiling work, but no. Instead, I’m getting unsolicited requests for, well, ‘blow jobs’. I was jumping mad.”

Building contractor’s wife

Brenda Champion, Brian’s wife, has also not been spared. “I’ve received several faxed inquiries,” she explained, “all of which have been rather explicit. It’s been very awkward – fitting them all in.”

While some might suggest a rebranding or perhaps an alternative advertising strategy, Brian remains determined to stay true to his profession. “I’m a builder, not a… well, you know,” he said with a sheepish grin. “I’ll just keep on laying bricks and hope the calls eventually stop.”

As for the curious callers, it seems they have discovered that it’s Brenda, not Brian, who is the real B.J. Champion!

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