Editor’s note: This story was written on the great man’s 90th birthday in August. We were saddened to hear of his passing on October 31, 2020.

To celebrate Sean Connery’s 90th birthday, here are the Suffolk Gazette’s top five terrible jokes about the legendary Scottish actor. It was meant to be a top ten, but we got shtuck…

Does Sean Connery like herbs?
Yes, but only partially

I told Sean Connery I was crushed by a pile of books
He said I only had my shelf to blame

What time does Sean Connery usually arrive at Wimbledon?
Tennish

Sean Connery doing a knock-knock joke
Dishes
Dishes who?
Dishes Sean Connery

Sean Connery rearranged his fridge during lockdown
He was shelf isolating

The name’s goat, Dirty Old Goat

Drinking your tea or coffee shaken, not stirred, might cause issues. But it will certainly taste all the better coming in a mug from the Suffolk Gazette’s pottery partner, DirtyOldGoat.com