New series of Squid Game starts in UK. It’s child’s play. Just stay in office for over 44 days and you will win £2,427.5 billion in UK government debt!

Yes, that’s the simple task facing PM-in-waiting, number-juggler, Dishi Rishi Sunak. £2,427.5 billion is, of course, the same as 2.4 TRILLION pounds of debt. Wow. Well done to all past governments of both parties. Thanks for telling us you were doing that. No wonder they count it in billions – it makes it sound like a smaller number – not.

New series of Squid Game “QUID” characters

Unlike main character, Seong Gi-hun from hit Netflix series ‘Squid Game’, who only had to:  play a deathly version of statues in ‘Red Light, Green Light’, compete in a suicidal ‘Tug of War’, and step precariously from one death-defying stepping stone to the next in the ‘Glass Tile Game’, Sunak faces a genuinely New Series of Squid Game, formidable task – don’t get knifed in the back by your own Party!

Many have attempted this daunting challenge in the recent past but found it impossible to complete. Johnson, Truss, Kwarteng etc.

Here is the full list of New Series of Squid Game AKA ‘Quid Game’ challenges facing Sunak:-

Recruiter’s Game:

‘Nasty Nomination’ – Get 100 people to pretend to like you.

Round 1:

‘The Penny Problem’ – Offer Penny Mordaunt a good enough job to get her to pull out of the race.

Round 2:

‘Royal Contempt’ – Be invited to form a government by King Charles III without him mumbling shit talk about you as he does it.

Round 3:

‘The Numbers Game’ – publish a mini-budget without the markets going apeshit.

Round 4:

‘Poor Pals’ – make some friends from the working class.

Round 5:

‘The Chequered Tile Game’ – Survive in office for 45 days before retiring to Chequers for the weekend.

Final Round:

‘Quid Game’ – Pull 2.4 trillion quid out of your ass to pay off the national debt.

The New Series of Squid Game AKA ‘Quid Game’ begins on all major news channels TODAY!