Latitude, the famous Suffolk music festival for middle-class families, has got off to a busy start with sales of quinoa and kale wraps soaring.

With glamping pitches and the sheep painted a pretty pink colour, Latitude prides itself on being the one festival where mummy and daddy can take young Alfie and Camilla while pretending to know who the performers are.

The venue at Henham Park in north Suffolk is close to the pretty seaside resort of Southwold, which by law is reserved for wealthy Londoners’ second homes.

Crowds began arriving at Latitude today in their Volvo 4 x 4s and Audi estates. Many are staying in ‘glamping areas’ which are more like the Ritz but they can all tell their friends at home about camping out with the cool people.

Artisan chefs on-site were doing a roaring trade today in £15.99 quinoa and kale wraps, avocado on turmeric-infused sourdough bread, and spinach smoothies at £9.99 a shot.

There was also so many well-groomed children wearing pretentious Jack Wills clothing that it’s a wonder the chain is in any form of financial difficulty.

Latitude festival veteran Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “The quinoa and kale wraps are to die for. If the wind is coming from the south, you can just about make out the stench of burgers and onions from Essex. Thankfully, there’s none of that sort of thing here.

“What is George Ezra, by the way? Is it a trendy type of blueberry or Waitrose’s own brand almond butter?”