IPSWICH, SUFFOLK – In a masterclass of drunk driving, an inebriated workman managed to defy the laws of physics by launching a Cat TH407c Telehandler off a flatbed truck onto a parked Opel Vectra – causing it to catch fire.
By Hugh Dunnett, Crime Correspondent
The driver, Brian Scragg, 56, who clearly fancied himself as a modern-day Evel Knievel. Took the concept of “crash and burn” to new heights – or rather, depths – of incompetence.
Eyewitnesses at the scene reported that the tipsy Telehandler handler.had apparently mistaken the industrial machine for a Formula 1 car.after a particularly spirited round of tequila shots in a local boozer.
With a level of coordination that could only be rivaled by a newborn giraffe on roller skates. Our hero revved the Telehandler’s engine, screamed “Watch out below!”.for dramatic effect, and promptly toppled the massive 9-tonne piece of machinery over the side onto the parked car.
Bewildered
Meanwhile, Philip Tin, a hapless local resident visiting a nearby dry cleaners. Could only watch in bewildered horror. As his beloved Opel Vectra was treated (like the shirts he was collecting) to an unexpected pressing. Witnesses say he muttered something that sounded suspiciously like, “It’s OK, I’m with the AA.”
Police were quick to arrive on the scene, armed with breathalyzers and a hearty appreciation for the laws of irony. Driver, Scragg, whose blood alcohol content was reportedly higher than his IQ. He faced charges ranging from reckless driving to flying low without a proper license.
As the Telehandler was hoisted back onto the flatbed truck with the grace of a drunken elephant on a tightrope. One could only marvel at the ingenious new ways that people find to make insurance adjusters cry.
Save a door Dali
Mr. Tin is said to be seeking to auction the squashed,.burned-out Opel as a modern art installation (less one door which he intends to retain as a keepsake.)
As sports betting continues to gain traction as a favored form of entertainment worldwide, its economic impact is becoming increasingly evident. The surge in the number of people engaging in sports betting has contributed significantly to the growth of the global sports betting market.
According to statistics from Statista, the market’s value has been on a steady rise, showcasing the economic potential of this burgeoning industry. The surge is connected to the large variety of available apps like the Betway app, as well as an improving connectivity, making sports betting accessible at any time.
The booming sports betting market
The global sports betting market has experienced substantial growth in recent years. As of 2021, the market was valued at 194.63 billion USD, a big increase from the previous year’s 173 billion USD in 2020, and experts predict this figure to continue this upward trajectory in the foreseeable future.
The widespread adoption of online betting platforms has played a pivotal role in driving the market’s expansion. These digital platforms offer unparalleled convenience, allowing enthusiasts to place bets on their favorite sports events at any time, from anywhere in the world. This accessibility has democratized sports betting, attracting a more extensive and diverse customer base.
Contributing factors to economic growth
Several factors contribute to the economic impact of sports betting on a global scale. Firstly, the flourishing industry has led to the creation of numerous jobs worldwide. From software developers and data analysts to customer service representatives and marketing professionals, the industry offers employment opportunities across various sectors.
Since sports betting is legalized in more jurisdictions, governments are benefiting from increased tax revenue. Taxation on betting revenues contributes to national budgets and helps fund public services and initiatives.
Travels and sponsorships
Major sports events and tournaments attract throngs of spectators and betting enthusiasts. As visitors flock to these events, the tourism and hospitality sectors experience a boost in business, leading to increased revenue and job opportunities.
Furthermore, the sports betting industry is a significant player in advertising and sponsorships. Sports betting companies often sponsor sporting events and teams, injecting funds into the sports industry and creating revenue opportunities for athletes and organizations. Lastly, the growth of the online sports betting market has spurred technological advancements. The development of cutting-edge betting platforms and innovative payment solutions has had a positive impact on the digital economy.
The surge in the number of people engaging in sports betting worldwide has led to a significant economic impact on both local and global levels. The resulting economic benefits include job creation, increased tax revenue and contributions to various sectors, such as tourism, advertising and hospitality.
SUFFOLK – 82-year-old grandmother, Betty Fisher, affectionately known as ‘Knitty Betty’ among her social circles. She has taken it upon herself to knit and fit a bespoke cover for her daughter Lorraine Fisher’s prized possession—a £150,000 Lamborghini Urus.
Wrinkled twinkle
Betty, a retired apple polisher with a passion for needlework. She reportedly embarked on this unusual endeavor after seeing her own car, a 2012 Ford Fiesta, covered in bird poo. “I couldn’t bear the thought of Lorraine’s precious investment being subjected to bird droppings, pollen, or, heaven forbid, a potential hailstorm,” she quipped with a twinkle in her eye.
The knit-covered Lamborghini
Witnesses report that Betty’s knitting skills defied all expectations,.creating a cozy, yellow, cable knit cocoon in lambswool that enveloped the supercar in what could only be described as ‘automotive couture.’ The streets became abuzz with admiration, as pedestrians and fellow motorists marveled at the spectacle of the eccentric, yet undeniably pragmatic, vehicular accessory.
When asked about the motivations behind her endeavor, Betty’s response was a textbook example of unassuming wisdom: “Well, dear, Lorraine’s always been a bit particular about her things, and I thought to myself, what’s a Lamborghini cover but a big, fancy kettle cozy?”
Glamorous granny
The Lamborghini company’s reaction remains to be seen,.but rumors suggest that a new line of ‘Grandma Chic’ car accessories might just be on the horizon. As for Betty Fisher, she’s gone back to her rocking chair with a satisfied grin, content in the knowledge that she has single-handedly elevated car customization to a whole new level – one stitch at a time.
LUCKY SLAP, SUFFOLK – Hordes of tourists are descending upon the quaint hamlet of Lucky Slap in Suffolk, England. Hoping to unlock the enigmatic secrets that supposedly lie in wait for unsuspecting visitors.
By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent
With its population of just 150 residents, Lucky Slap has miraculously transformed into a must-see destination for the intrepid traveler seeking the Midas Touch.
Bell end
Speculations about the village’s newfound appeal range from rumors of hidden treasure troves. Under cobblestone streets to tales of resident leprechauns granting wishes to visitors. Even the local pigeon population has been touted as possessing psychic powers that reveal winning lottery numbers.
The Mayor of Lucky Slap, Ian Bell, commented, “I can’t quite put my finger on it,.but Lucky Slap has always been the epicenter of, well, nothing much at all, really. We’re like the little train station at the end of the line Yet. Here we are, knee-deep in tourists hunting for lottery-predicting pigeons.”
Extraordinary whiff
Local businesses, unaccustomed to more than a handful of patrons at any given time, are struggling to keep up with the sudden demand for souvenirs featuring the village’s infamous name. One entrepreneur has even started selling “Lucky Slap Mystery Dirt” bottled up with an authentic whiff of rural air, promising visitors a taste of the extraordinary.
Residents, bemused by the sudden influx of tourists, have taken it upon themselves to welcome the curious visitors with open arms. One enterprising resident has even set up a “Mystical Pebble Emporium,” offering pebbles that allegedly hold the wisdom of ancient gnomes. Another is offering guided tours of the most famous hedges in the village, affectionately dubbed the “Labyrinth of Lucky Lushness.”
Wrong end of the stick
However, not all visitors to the mysterious destination have left fully satisfied. According to her Trip Advisor review, Marjorie Skank, 52, traveled all the way from Birmingham for what she described as “Plenty of slap and loads of tickle,” but left only having been offered ‘serendipi-tea’, and ‘fortunate French stick’ from the local tea shop.
Online casinos make the laws and regulations around which ones you can and can’t use more confusing. People in the UK tend to assume that if an operator is based in a country other than their own, like Ireland, then they aren’t able to use their services. In fact, this is not entirely true. There are a lot of complicated factors to answering this question, though, so today we’re going to dive in to everything you need to know about using Irish online casinos when betting from the UK.
Let’s get started.
UKGC licensed sites
Betting operators in the UK are regulated by the UK Gambling Commission. If you want to offer legal, above board services for any kind of gambling in the UK, you must be licensed by the UKGC. So, any operator running legal services in the UK is licensed—but the UKGC does not exclusively give licenses to domestic operators.
If an Irish operator wished to offer their services to UK customers, then they can do so by obtaining a license from the UKGC. With well over 2,000 licensed operators approved by the UKGC, there’s a huge mix of both domestic and internationally based operators. So, if you are looking at in Irish site for betting, casino games, or any other kind of gambling, all you need to know to check if you can legally use them is to see if they are licensed by the UKGC.
The company itself may be based in Ireland, but they can still obtain a UKGC license to offer services in the UK, as seen with the likes of LeoVegas casino. Typically, they will have to establish some presence in the UK for business purposes, and will have offices in the UK. For any number of reasons, though, like popularity and reputation, these operators may continue to advertise themselves as an Irish company to attract UK customers.
There are many aspects of betting operation that are covered by the UKGC. The simplest and most important, of course, is the simple fact that they can operate at all. However, it also covers advertising, what offers and bonuses their customers can get, and much more.
Let’s look now to non-licensed sites.
Non-licensed sites
In Ireland, operators must obtain a license from the Gambling Regulatory Authority of Ireland, or the GRAI for short. This is a relatively new statutory body, and indeed Irish law has not really provided licenses for casinos and casino-style games. That is changing now, though, as online operators can now offer services to residents of Ireland.
However, if a company is licensed by the GRAI, this only means they can operate legally in Ireland. It does not give them the right to offer services to UK customers. Even if an operator has a GRAI license, they must still obtain a separate UKGC license in order to offer any service whatsoever to UK residents.
Indeed, if an Irish online casino does not have a UKGC license, then they cannot even legally advertise to you. They must have a license for this privilege, too. So, if you are being advertised to by an Irish operator who does not have a UKGC license, then they are doing so illegally.
The UKGC maintains a comprehensive list of all operators which are licensed to operate in the UK. While most Irish online casinos will feature their license proudly and prominently on their website, if you’re unsure you can always check this directory on the official UKGC site to be sure they are licensed to operate.
With all that said, which sites can you use to bet on?
Which can I use?
Again, the simple answer is that you can use any site that is licensed by the UKGC. There is no legal online casino operating in the UK which does not have a license from the UKGC. You can easily check whether a site is licensed on the UKGC website.
The confusion largely comes from the fact that when an Irish operator gains a UKGC license, they effectively become a UK operator with an Irish parent company. A separate entity, more or less, must be established to run the operator’s services in the UK. A betting operator may establish themselves and become very popular in one country then want to expand their services. They then continue to advertise as though they were Irish to build on their reputation. As long as they have a UK license, you’re fine to use them no matter who they are!
So, the simple answer is this: if the site you are looking at is licensed by the UKGC, as well as the equivalent Irish authority, then you are able to use them no problem. However, if they do not have a license to operate in the UK, then they cannot even legally advertise there, much less take on domestic customers. If you’re ever in any doubt, review the official UKGC list of licensed operators.
Having finished with a 14-3 record in the regular season, the Philadelphia Eagles headed into last year’s playoffs with confidence.
Winning the NFC Conference Championship with a staggering 31-7 victory over the San Francisco 49ers, they met their match in the Super Bowl.
Falling to a 38-35 loss to the Kansas City Chiefs, the Eagles came ever so close and will look at this upcoming season as one to prove a point and for some of their star players to take the next step.
The NFL Week 1 odds have them as one of the top candidates going into the season once again, just behind the inspiring Chiefs once again who are looking to keep their run going under the leadership of star quarterback Patrick Mahomes.
What they can improve on?
Defending the run is where the Eagles need to most improve going into the new season. Nick Sirianni heads into this third season as the head coach of the Philadelphia Eagles looking to keep the dominance his offense had but improve the defensive weaknesses they sometimes showed.
Sirianni tried to address this during the season by adding Ndamukong Suh and Linval Joseph, but they still couldn’t turn things around.
What helped was that the Eagles offense was so strong that teams were often coming from behind when facing the Eagles and forced to throw and chase yards. This saw their secondary pick up huge numbers, and teams will have to figure out a way to really test if this run defense has been improved, as going through the air isn’t an easy task, even if Eagles will be without C.J. Gardner-Johnson who caught six interceptions last season.
New Players
In free agency the Philadelphia Eagles lost several starters like C.J. Gardner-Johnson and Marcus Epps but recruited well and added depth in positions of need.
Quarterback Marcus Mariota provides a strong backup presence to leader Jalen Hurts. While Hurst may be the clear starter in this field, adding Mariota provides a like for like backup in some ways. Both can throw and use their feet and this will ensure the style of play and offense does not need to shift so much if Hurst misses time again this season.
Terrell Edmunds was brought in from Pittsburgh Steelers and played 15 games last season, registering 70 tackles, five passes defended, two sacks and three tackles for loss. His durability and quality will see him no doubt starting a strong safety alongside Reed Blankenship at free safety on the defense.
Running back Rashad Penny offers great value on a one-year deal to support D’Andre Sift who will be the week 1 starter.
Another on defense was Nicholas Morrow who arrived from Chicago Bears. He played every game last season and as on the field for every one of the Bear’s defensive snaps (1,086).
Being durable and versatile in the linebacker role, Morrow adds to the depth and intensity this group can bring in 2023.
In the NFL Draft, the Eagles picked up Jalen Carter, a Defensive Tackle from Georgia, and was one of the top recruits in the country. A former basketball player, he is quick on his feet for someone who can bench press 395-points, he will be a valuable addition to the defensive unit in Philadelphia and a plug and play starter.
What will go for them this year?
The continuity. Most of their offensive stars are back and ready to go. They have an enviable receiver group with A.J. Brown and DeVonta Smith ready to compete with most groups around the league.
When you have a quarterback like Hurts who can throw so well but also be a weapon on the ground, this only makes it tougher for opposing defenses to read and set up. The speed at which they can hit an opponent makes them tough to cover and this will no doubt continue into the 2023 season.
What could go against them?
The focus on stopping the run and changes in the defense again will have to be a wait and see for Sirianni. Will his new additions be able to pick up the roles quickly and can Jalen Carter adapt right away to the competition in the NFL?
D’Andre Swift has stood out in camp as the starter at running back, but he has not hit double digits in touchdowns in his three years as an NFL player. He started just four games in both of his last two seasons with the Detroit Lions before arriving in Philadelphia so it will be interesting to see where he is at with his new side come week one.
All in all though, this is a tough and exciting team who will be looking to overturn the disappointments of last season’s Super Bowl and go out and win it this year.
The Suffolk Seagull 73, saved the life of his best friend from a deadly Eagle claw.
By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent
LOWESTOFT, SUFFOLK – Regular readers of the SUFFOLK GAZETTE (if you’re not, why not?) will be familiar with legendary Seagull 73, Lowestoft Squadron.
It seems that not a week goes by without another story of the hero gull’s swashbuckling exploits hitting the headlines, and this week is no different.
A tale of two gulls
Yesterday, at dawn, as Lowestoft’s fleet of small fishing boats set off for the choppy waters of the North Sea. Two gulls were busy patrolling the skies, surveying the familiar scene below. They were watching and waiting for a chance to nab some breakfast, or perhaps, crap on a traffic warden’s head.
The birds were legendary Seagull 73 and his best, and oldest friend, Seagull 71. Little did the two of them know that within minutes,.they would both be embroiled in a life-or-death battle with a fellow fiend of the skies… an Australian white-bellied Sea Eagle.
Best Seagull pals
Seagulls 73 & 71 have been best pals since 1987, when Seagull 71, a year older than his famous best friend,.came to the aid of a young 73 in the aftermath of an attack on his mother by an Alsatian dog on the beach near Ness Point. Just a chick at the time, and with a mother still in shock from the attack. 71 plucked both of them from the beach and carried them back to the safety of their cliff-top nest.
Yesterday, 73 finally got the chance to repay his loyal friend. As the two buddies swooped and swooshed across the beach and promenade in search of their first meal of the day,.a large shadow fell across the hazy sun above them. Within seconds, 71 was under attack from a vicious Eagle with a big white belly. With a wing span far exceeding his own,.and with talons as sharp as… talons, digging into his shoulders, 71 was powerless to defend himself against the scrawny-necked brute which was intent on carrying him off for the purposes of eating him.
But the illegal immigrant seabird with the white belly and the big yellow beak hadn’t counted on the deep. The lasting friendship between his intended victim and hero-legend… Seagull 73.
Rocket-propelled seagull
With characteristic poise and bravura, 73 quietly took a position several metres above the over-confident Aussie Eagle. Waiting for the moment when the unwelcome Antipodean had dropped his guard, 73 flung back his shoulders and began a whistling divebomb towards his foe. Gathering speed, and resembling a rocket-propelled grenade over the mountains of Afghanistan, No 73 smashed into the Kangaroo-ish Kidnapper with his claws, before burying his sharp beak into the nape of his neck
SQUAAAAARRRRRKKKKKKKK! Shrieked the stunned Sea Eagle. WTF had just happened? What had happened was that he had been No 73’d!
As the unwelcome Aussie immigrant flew woozily back out to sea, Seagull buddies 73 & 71 settled down on a nearby telegraph line and cackled as they gave the bird to the fleeing foreigner.
FLIXTON, THE SAINTS, SUFFOLK – What do you do when you have a sign but nothing to put on it?.That’s the dilemma that’s been facing the halfwitted people of the civil parish of Flixton,.north Suffolk for nearly seventy years.
Large red sign
During world war II (the best-looking war), RAF Bungay – a base for American heavy bombers – was located at Flixton. When the war ended (we won), the airfield was converted and used as a prisoner-of-war camp.until its eventual redundancy and closure in 1955.
The Flixton sign story
The story goes that after July 1940, when the Germans had given up their ridiculous ambitions of invading Britain,.Sir Winston Churchill (peace be upon him) gave orders that all the country’s road signs.which had been removed in anticipation of Hitler’s invasion.(to confuse and confound the expected invading armies) could now be returned.
This led to the erection of a large red sign on the outskirts of Flixton which read: ‘PRISONER OF WAR CAMP THIS WAY. After the erection, everything in Flixton made sense,.and in the years that followed, the villagers happily watched German and Japanese prisoners of war being dragged off to the internment camp under heavily armed guard. Life was good in Flixton… until 1955 arrived.
Dixon of Dock Green premiered on the BBC
Outside the village, the rest of Britain was enjoying 1955 immensely,.what with the 18-year-old Manchester United left-half. Duncan Edwards becoming the youngest full England international in a 7–2 win over Scotland at Wembley.
The Children and Young Persons (Harmful Publications) Act coming into effect, with the intention of protecting children from horror comics. But in Flixton, a dark cloud of fear and suspicion was descending upon the Parish.
Re-erection
The problem it seems was, now that the P.O.W. camp had been closed. The red signpost directing visitors towards it was no longer required. Matters were complicated by the fact that Sir Winston Churchill (God rest his soul) who had resigned as Prime Minister earlier in the year due to ill-health,.had not, whilst still in office, rescinded the instruction that Britons should re-erect all removed wartime signage.
Unsure of how to respect the wishes of the man who had single-handedly won the second world war, and discontinue the obsolete P.O.W. camp signage, internecine warfare broke out in the village. Some people said that the signpost should be painted blank. Others said that the sign should be amended to read ‘P.O.W. CAMP NO LONGER THIS WAY’, while one local idiot even proposed that a lone villager be posted to stand in front of the sign at all times of night and day to obscure its contents.
Virtually intractable
The arguments over the flixton sign went on for years, with the villagers unable to reach agreement until, in August 2014, the matter was finally resolved when, one morning, the villagers awoke to a mysterious new legend painted on the flixton sign: ‘SIGN NOT IN USE’.
No-one knows who repainted the flixton sign which everyone in the village now seems happy with, but some say it was the ghost of Winston Churchill himself.
