LEVINGTON, EAST SUFFOLK – The town of Levington in East Suffolk bade a spectral farewell to its beloved medium, Brian “The Ghostbuster” Peabody, yesterday.
By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent
Having spent 45 years communicating with the dearly departed, Peabody found himself at the final crossroads, leaving behind a legacy of spiritual guidance and ghostly counselling.
During his long career, the wacky ghost whisperer, hailed as the spectral shepherd of Suffolk, helped over 2,000 wandering spirits find their way to the other side. In a fitting tribute, the townsfolk decided to give him a send-off worthy of the otherworldly service he had provided for nearly half a century.
If there’s something strange in your neighborhood…
Central to the funeral procession for the man who had bridged the gap between the living and the dead was a befitting white hearse, customized to resemble the iconic 1959 Cadillac Miller-Meteor ambulance known as the Ectomobile from the Ghostbusters movies. Cruising through the winding streets of Levington, flower-throwing locals couldn’t help but feel a shiver of appreciation as the phantom’s friend’s corpse passed by.
Ghostbuster funeral
The homage to Peabody’s unique career became a spectacle that transcended the sombre tone of traditional funerals. Townsfolk and onlookers, some donning makeshift ghost costumes, lined the streets to bid farewell to their spectral mediator as the Ectomobile hearse, complete with ghost-catching paraphernalia, proudly carried Peabody to his final resting place.
The Ghostly memory
As the Ectomobile hearse rolled away, its sirens wailing in ghostly harmony, the town of Levington celebrated the memory of its eccentric Ghostbuster. In life, Brian Peabody left a phantasmagorical mark on his home town. The question is, will this be the last Levington sees of its deceased supernatural son?
VATICAN CITY – Pope Francis, the 266th pontiff, has recently been acting more canine than holy.
Religious Affairs Reporter: Rev Evan Elpus
Reports of him crawling on all fours, yapping, and nipping at the heels of clergy and Swiss guards had Vatican officials concerned. Seeking a divine solution to the papal pup problem, the Pontiff was fitted with an anti-bite collar, reminiscent of those worn by unruly pets, in an attempt to curb his peculiar antics.
The unusual behaviour, allegedly caused by a lingering fever, led a Vatican spokesman to announce, “In order to facilitate the Pope’s walkies, some important engagements scheduled for the next few days have been postponed.”
During the virtual address, Pope Francis, with a collar now securely fastened around his neck, informed the gathered crowd in St. Peter’s Square, “Today, I cannot look out of the window because I have cats to chase, woof!
The reflection will be read by Monsignor Braida, who knows them well because it is he who writes them, woof, woof! Anyhow, he always does them so well. Thank you for your prayers.”
The announcement has triggered a mix of concern and bewilderment among the Catholic faithful, who now find themselves praying for the Pope’s swift return to his more traditional role as the Shepherd of the Church, rather than the Sheepdog of the Faith.
A SHOP DOORWAY, WEST SUFFOLK – In a chilling response to the plight of Suffolk’s homeless population. West Suffolk Council has issued guidance on how to keep warm – build an ice cave.
By Colin Allcabs, Consumer Editor
The guidance, presented on a sheet of A4 paper. Not only provides instructions and diagrams on constructing temporary street accommodations out of snow and ice but also generously doubles as a bed sheet.
Council caves in
Facing criticism for budgetary allocations favouring resettling Afghan and Ukrainian refugees to the tune of £320,000. Whilst leaving the county’s long-term British homeless population exposed to the winter elements, the council’s latest move is just ‘taking the piss’ say some.
The detailed instructions, complete with illustrations. Guide the homeless in crafting makeshift shelters using the very elements that have made this season such a challenge. Thankfully, the instructions demonstrate how an ‘air vent’ should be incorporated into the cave. Guidance that some Tory councillors were alleged to have wanted omitted.
Rough Justice
As the controversy over spending priorities heats up, critics argue that perhaps the council could have explored alternative solutions beyond turning the streets of Suffolk into a scene from Scott of the Antarctic. The Department for Levelling Up, Housing and Communities’ Rough Sleeping Strategy found in a 2020 report that 6% of UK nationals who slept rough had served in the Armed Forces, plunging the Council’s ‘dagger of indifference’ even deeper.
While the idea of turning snow into shelter may seem good enough for the Inuit. The reality is that a significant portion of the British population faces the prospect of a winter season. Marked by cold nights and biting winds. Whether the guidance will be received as a well-intentioned yet misguided attempt to address homelessness or a frosty-fingered ‘Fuck You’ remains to be seen.
Council guidance
As the ice caves begin to take shape on the streets of Suffolk. The juxtaposition of holiday warmth and icy realities leaves many wondering if this is truly the season of goodwill to all.
To develop your own gambling site successfully, it is crucial to stay abreast of trends and offer customers only the best software. Therefore, the use of software casino online becomes a pivotal factor that significantly streamlines and enhances this process. In this article, we will delve into why leveraging modern technologies in the development of gambling sites is crucial and the advantages they provide.
Why Developing a Casino Independently is Challenging?
Dealing with a myriad of tasks, independently managing statistics, and overseeing security can be extremely challenging. Moreover, the time investment required would be substantial. It is physically impossible to consider all nuances to make the business profitable and continually evolving.
In the process of independently managing a gambling site, numerous issues may arise, with some of the most common being:
Difficulties obtaining necessary licenses and complying with numerous rules and regulations in different jurisdictions;
The need to create proprietary gaming software, requiring significant financial and time resources;
Establishing a security system and combating fraud from scratch to ensure protection for players and the casino;
Challenges in creating and maintaining a diverse and attractive game library;
Difficulties in marketing, attracting, and retaining an audience in a competitive environment.
This is why it is best to explore the tools offered by GR8 from the outset. This will expedite the understanding of the intricacies of site development and enable offering customers high-quality services.
How to Solve These Problems and Implement Online Casino Software?
The use of online casino software brings significant advantages, substantially simplifying various processes in the development of a gaming site. Let’s explore the main benefits of such a solution in 2024:
Compliance with laws and responsible gaming norms. Many sites, including those from GR8, already possess the necessary licenses and adhere to all legal regulations, saving time and resources.
Implementation of ready-made solutions. Providing ready-made solutions and gaming platforms significantly reduces the time spent on developing proprietary software.
High security standards. Utilizing built-in security systems and anti-fraud measures ensures a high level of protection for both players and operators.
Collaboration with top suppliers. Access to a wide range of games and content providers allows for the creation of a diverse and appealing gaming environment.
Analytics and marketing tools. Provision of marketing tools and analytics for more effective audience attraction and retention.
Additionally, this approach offers the opportunity to save financial and time resources typically required for software development and support. It allows for a quick launch of the gambling site, enabling operators to start attracting an audience and generating revenue in the shortest possible time.
With GR8, flexible and scalable solutions are available, easily adapting to the needs of a growing business. Working with such a team provides access to professional support from developers and technical specialists, significantly simplifying the resolution of potential issues.
Horse racing fans have plenty to look forward to this year, with the fixture list packed with a host of top-class events taking place across the world.
Newmarket inevitably features at the forefront of our thinking. With the Suffolk racecourse set to stage its usual line-up of high-quality equine action.
With that in mind, read on as we pinpoint six must-watch horse racing events in 2024. Starting with one which will generate a ton of activity in the betting industry.
Cheltenham Festival
The eyes of the horse racing world will be on leafy Gloucestershire in March. As the prestigious four-day Cheltenham Festival is staged.
The meeting, which is the pinnacle of the National Hunt season in the United Kingdom. Features a host of Grade 1 hurdle and steeplechase races.
These include four headline events staged on each day – the Champion Hurdle, Champion Chase, Stayers’ Hurdle and the Cheltenham Gold Cup.
Whether you head to Cheltenham to attend in-person or watch the action on television. The meeting promises to provide punters with loads of memorable moments.
Newmarket Guineas Festival
Newmarket takes centre stage at the start of May as the QIPCO Guineas Festival delivers the first Classic races of the 2024 flat racing campaign.
The 1000 and 2000 Guineas are among the most historic events in horse racing, with each contest dating back to 19th century.
Anticipation for this year’s 2000 Guineas will likely be off the scale as the Aidan O’Brien trained City of Troy bids to prove he is horse racing’s new superstar.
O’Brien described the horse as the best two-year-old he has ever trained – lofty praise given some of the stellar talent he has previously had in his stable.
Royal Ascot
If you want fashion and pageantry mixed in with top-class racing. There is no better place on earth to do this than at Royal Ascot in June.
The five-day meeting is the highlight of the summer flat racing calendar in the UK, offering fans a unique way to enjoy the Sport of Kings.
Royal Ascot’s prize money has been raised to £10 million for 2024, making the meeting the most valuable in the annual UK horse racing calendar.
Every Group 1 race is worth an eye-watering £650,000, while many of the handicap races are among the most lucrative staged in the UK each year.
Sydney Everest Carnival
Horse racing fans who fancy doing something a little more extravagant in 2024 would be well advised to consider organising a trip around the Sydney Everest Carnival.
This covers nine exciting meetings at Royal Randwick and Rosehill Gardens which are staged between September and November each year.
The Carnival is headlined by TAB Everest Day in October – a meeting which features some of the top sprinters on the planet competing in a $20 million contest.
Billed as the ‘world’s richest race on turf’, The Everest is now only second in prestige behind another Australian event which also has an eye-catching moniker.
Melbourne Cup
Only a handful of races worldwide can truly claim to have gained iconic status. The Grand National in England is one – the Melbourne Cup in Australia is undoubtedly another.
Lovingly known as ‘the race that stops the nation’ the Melbourne Cup is an event which garners interest from people who may not ordinarily follow the sport.
Betting sites are inundated for requests for horse racing promotions in the run-up to the race from punters who are keen to place their only bet of the year.
The spectacle of 24 top-class stayers thundering around Flemington Racecourse in early November is a sight every horse racing fan should witness at least once in their life.
Breeders’ Cup World Championships
Another highlight during the early part of November is the Breeders’ Cup World Championships. A two-day meeting which serves as the culmination of the international flat racing calendar.
Del Mar Racecourse in San Diego has been chosen as the venue for the next two editions of an event that generates massive interest in online betting circles.
The Breeders’ Cup features championship races run on dirt or turf over different distances. Each of which are designed to crown the champion horse in a specific category.
With more than $30 million in prize money up for grabs over the two days. It is easy to see why trainers worldwide are keen to have runners in the Breeders’ Cup.
Online reviews can tell a lot about the reputation of a particular company or business. Most people read them when searching for some kind of service. For instance, if you are looking for online casinos that payout within 1 hour, you will probably consider reviews to find the best options. Suggestions from experts can help you make an informed choice about which fast-withdrawal casino site to join. This article will explore the influence of reviews on different businesses.
Impact of Online Reviews on Different Business Niches
Casino fans on the lookout for welcome bonuses can read reviews of gambling platforms with a sign-up offer. They can find the PlayUK bonus reviewed over at Wageringadvisors.co.uk and promotions of other brands. The experts suggest the PlayUK site has an excellent reputation and an interesting welcome offer. Therefore, it is more likely to be positioned higher in Google search results.
The better the ratings, the higher a particular brand appears in the results.
That is because reviews constitute 10% of the criteria for how Google displays search results. So, if customers are satisfied with your service, positive comments will help get you on the map. Conversely, a bad reputation will make you an undesirable choice, and nowadays, it’s easier than ever to check one’s reputation. You don’t have to rely on word of mouth as in the old days. You can simply consult Google and get familiar with customer experiences and expert advice.
iGaming
The iGaming industry is flourishing, with new sites launched every year. But this variety, no matter how good it is, also poses some challenges. It is difficult to pick the right casino from this myriad of options. Therefore, many players resort to online reviews and ratings when searching for the right website.
Casino enthusiasts are most likely to believe the first-hand experiences. However, reviews of gambling experts also uncover important details. While customer reviews usually focus on a couple of things, expert reviews of online casinos cover a range of features, from game selection to welcome bonuses. You can get a bigger picture and find the UK gambling website that matches your preferences.
But you need to be careful to find a trusted site that rates casino operators. Finding reputable online reviewers also requires some investigation on your part. Before you find your source of information, you need to check for some features to ensure the information provided is relevant and valid.
Hotels and Restaurants
The businesses within the hospitality industry also highly rely on good customer ratings. Visitors to hotels, restaurants, and other establishments can rate the service online. Both locals and tourists will take into account the comments before they decide where to rent a room or eat out. Simply enough, they can find this kind of information on Google Maps.
Restaurants and hotels with four and five-star ratings will attract more customers than those with lower ratings. These businesses need to keep their good reputations to maintain a good rating, retain their old customers, and expand further.
On the other hand, customer feedback isn’t valuable only to potential customers but businesses themselves. Keeping track of comments can help less reputable hotels and restaurants improve their service. They can work on their weaknesses and set a plan with targets and goals to help them improve their reputation and grow their business.
Healthcare
Online reputation is also essential in healthcare. Namely, more than 80% of patients read comments to help them select their preferred healthcare provider. Moreover, this is one of the most sought-after careers, so reviews enable people to check how good new physicians are. Hospitals and doctors with good reputations can acquire patients more easily.
e-Commerce
Shopping online can be risky. Therefore, most online shoppers read about customer experiences prior to making a purchase. Positive comments make them more trustful and likely to buy a product. Conversely, negative comments make them discouraged.
A survey of more than 1,000 online buyers reveals that almost 90% read customer reviews before deciding whether to carry on with a purchase. Nearly 70% of the polled stated positive comments boost their trust in the seller and the product. On the other hand, almost 40% stated negative comments make them less likely to make a purchase.
Finally, it’s important to know how to approach online reviews because some comments may be fake. But there are several indicators of such reviews you can easily spot. Moreover, many people intuitively recognise fake comments and distinguish them from honest opinions.
Conclusion
User comments and ratings have a substantial influence on different business niches, from e-commerce and iGaming to the hospitality and healthcare sectors. They testify to how reputable a particular brand is and how good service it offers. Therefore, many people read comments to ensure they make the right choice.
High-frequency trading (HFT) is a dominant force in the crypto market-making landscape, that revolutionizes the speed and efficiency of trading. In this article, we will explain the concept of HFT and talk about its common strategies, and advantages.
What is HFT?
High-frequency trading is a complex trading strategy that implies using advanced algorithms and computational power to execute a large number of orders at extremely high speeds. Such traders make a great contribution to the crypto exchange market making.
Their key features are:
High speed. HFT traders require ultra-low latency connectivity to conduct orders within milliseconds. They have speed advantages over other traders.
Short holding period. HFT traders close positions within seconds or minutes after opening them.
Volume. HFT traders generate extremely high daily trading volumes, taking a significant portion of overall market volume.
Math and technology. HFT traders rely on math models and programming. Trading algorithms are tracked and swiftly updated.
HFT Strategies for Market-Making
HFT strategies include:
Statistical arbitrage – Algorithms analyze statistical relationships and historical price patterns to identify mispriced assets. Trades are executed to capitalize on the expected convergence of prices.
Market-neutral strategies – HFT traders engage in buying and selling positions simultaneously, aiming to profit from relative price movements between different assets, often within the same market sector.
Liquidity provision – HFT firms continuously place orders in the market, providing liquidity for other traders. By quoting bid and ask prices and executing trades quickly, they contribute to a more liquid and efficient market.
Crypto HFT Advantages for the Market
HFT significantly contributes to market liquidity by providing a continuous stream of orders. This increased liquidity benefits other traders, ensuring smoother order executions and minimizing slippage.
The rapid execution of HFT strategies helps in narrowing bid-ask spreads. As HFT traders actively participate in the market, the price differential between buying and selling becomes more competitive.
By reacting swiftly to market changes, HFT algorithms contribute to real-time price adjustments, ensuring that market prices accurately reflect real supply and demand for an asset.
The efficiency brought by HFT strategies fosters a more competitive and transparent market. Traders can execute orders with greater speed and precision.
Concerns and Regulation of HFT in Cryptocurrencies
There are some fairness concerns about HFT. Some argue that this trading type gives its participants an unfair advantage over other traders, due to the speed of order execution and advanced tools. Thus, HFT traders are always ahead of other market participants.
The future of HFT in crypto heavily depends on regulations that will help reduce risks connected with this trading activity. However, authorities are exploring measures to prevent market manipulation, enhance investor protection, and maintain the integrity of digital asset markets.
IPSWICH, SUFFOLK – A sweet little boy waited impatiently at Ipswich airport for his mommy to come home after being imprisoned by the BBC (British Bastard Corporation) for making a late licence fee for her TV.
Deidre Loveheart, 34, a crippled charity worker who suffers from brain cancer was imprisoned for six months by the BBC after she failed to fully pay her TV license on time.
Late licence fee saga
In court, Loveheart pleaded with highly paid BBC lawyers not to give her a custodial sentence as her son, Brendan, who is blind and has special needs would not be able to feed himself while she was inside. Selfless Loveheart, also claimed that being wheelchair-bound would make it difficult for her to manoeuvre around the prison and go to the toilet etc.
When asked why she had failed to make her Licence fee payments on time, the kind-hearted, Salvation Army charity shop worker told presiding judge, Lord Justice Marmaduke Rassie-Farquharson VII that she had tried, but extra shifts she had tried to take on cleaning toilets in Gary Lineker’s $9,000,000 mansion had dried up because he had given the shifts to an illegal immigrant whom Lineker could pay 80% of what he would have had to pay her. On top of that, on the very day that she had planned to make the licence fee payment she had been admitted to hospital to receive emergency treatment after blood had started to seep out of her ears.
British Bastard Corporation
Loveheart told the court, that less than 24 hours after missing the payment, the BBC – whose upper management, board, and on-screen ‘talent’ receive six, sometimes seven-figure salaries subsidized by license fee payers like herself, sent in the black-clad, fascist Bastard TV license hit squad to apprehend and drag her off to prison.
Yesterday however, Deidre’s nightmare ended after she paid late licence fee when she was flown back to Ipswich to reunite with son, Brendan who was waiting for her with a big smile and a welcome home banner.
Defunding is too good for them
We contacted the BBC to ask why they hadn’t featured Deidre’s homecoming on the 6 O’Clock news. A posh-sounding twenty-something graduate called us back to say that they wouldn’t be covering the story as they were too busy broadcasting endless diversity-based news bulletins, heavily biased towards their lefty, woke warrior activist mates in business, academia and show business.
