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Sizewell Glow Sticks Ltd posts huge profits

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Sizewell Glow Sticks Ltd posts huge profits

By Colin Allcabs, Consumer Correspondent

Sizewell Glow Sticks Ltd has announced £110,000 profits in its first year of operation.

The business uses secret local resources to make novelty high-visibility bracelets and necklaces at its factory close to the famous Sizewell nuclear power station.

Its glow sticks are said to be brighter and last longer than any other versions currently on the market.

Managing Director Charles Montgomery-Burns welcomed the annual figures.

“Excellent!” he said.

sizewell glow stickRadiating beauty: Sizewell Glow Sticks

One member of the 50-strong Suffolk workforce said while employees were delighted the business was doing so well, there had been a recent unexplained increase in staff sickness.

Local councillors say Suffolk Glow Sticks Ltd is a welcome addition to the local jobs market, which has previously had to rely on the Sizewell B Nuclear Power Station, and some sea fishing.

Meanwhile, a family living in Sizewell has become alarmed by the pet cat’s changing appearance.

Galileo Gold shocks Air Force Blue to claim victory in 2000 Guineas

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Galileo Gold shocks Air Force Blue to claim victory in 2000 Guineas

The first classic of the 2016 flat season certainly lived up to expectation, as Frankie Dettori led outsider Galileo Gold to victory in the famous 2000 Guineas race at Newmarket.

The 14/1 shot with bookmakers Coral comfortably cruised to victory by one and a half lengths, in what was his third victory in the prestigious mile long race. With Air Force Blue having gained much of the pre-race attention, the winner of last year’s Dewhurst Stakes was never in contention, eventually finishing in second to last place. It was certainly a special occasion for Italian Dettori, who won 20 years on from achieving his first victory in the race when riding Mark of Esteem.

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The fact that previous favourite Emotionless had been withdrawn from the race at Newmarket meant that the field was substantially more open. The title of race favourite was passed onto Aidan O’Brien trained Air Force Blue as a result. However, the horse lacked the required stamina to compete in such a race, and is now being considered for shorter meetings in the near future. Trainer Charlie Appleby took the difficult decision to rule Emotionless out of the race, having decided instead to give his horse further time to mature before featuring in such a big race meeting. It was left to Galileo Gold to take over from O’Brien’s Gleneagles who claimed victory in last year’s race.

With the start of the new season certainly increasing the excitement levels of the horse racing community with famous meetings such as Royal Ascot coming up in the near future, events at Cheltenham and Aintree now seem to have occurred an age ago. With racing at Newmarket set to continue throughout the summer months, events at Ascot and the upcoming Kentucky Derby across the pond perhaps provide better options for those of you looking to win big on upcoming meetings. Royal Ascot looks set to be the most competitive for many a year, with a record number of foreign entries helping to provide a high quality field. US mare Tepin, widely regarded as the fastest thoroughbred in the world, lines up in the Queen Anne Stakes and is offered odds of 8/1 by Coral to come out victorious. So if you want to place a bet, last year’s Breeder Cup Mile winner is certainly worth a look at.

Elsewhere, racing returns to Goodwood at the end of May, kicking off a summer of high quality action at the iconic course. Always a great day out for all, why not grab a glorious Goodwood bet and sample the incredible atmosphere for yourself.

Monty Python village idiot sketch

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Monty Python village idiot sketch

For anyone who enjoyed our recent story about the need for an Aldeburgh village idiot, here is the Monty Python village idiot sketch which was the inspiration behind it. Enjoy!

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Wanted: Village idiot for Aldeburgh

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Wanted: Village idiot for Aldeburgh

village idiot

EXCLUSIVE
By Peter Grimes, Aldeburgh Reporter

A posh Suffolk seaside resort is advertising for a full-time village idiot in a bid to satisfy the curiosity of wealthy London tourists.

Aldeburgh has bags of cultural appeal, being the home of the classical composer Benjamin Britten and a favoured destination for artists, writers and opera lovers.

But clever town bosses recognised that well-heeled tourists were not getting any of the “silly Suffolk” encounters they craved in order to patronise the locals.

Now the town’s council is seeking to hire a village idiot who will amuse visitors by being utterly stupid and “yokel-like” while speaking in a strong Suffolk accent.

The position, which is for 38 hours a week, comes with a salary of £18,000 and substantial perks, including a special spot on the sea wall on which to sit and regularly fall off.

A council spokesman said: “Our village idiot will need to dress in old rustic country clothing, possibly a smock and a silly hat with a piece of straw in his mouth. We want our rich tourists to feel like they’ve seen the real rural Suffolk so they are not tempted to go and spend their money elsewhere, like Felixstowe.

“These people like nothing better than to go home to Chelsea or Kensington and tell their supper party friends about the yokels they met in Suffolk.”

My impressive tulips are growing willy-nilly

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My impressive tulips are growing willy-nilly

lady garden

What a wonderful abundance of tulips there are at the moment, especially in our public parks. I have about seven in my lady garden.

Take a good look at my illustration and you will better understand bulb cultivation and what is going on down below.

tulip graphicGraphic tulip by Anita Bush Design Corp, London | New York | Milan

It has always surprised me how many teenage boys are interested in gardening, paying homage to bulb-growing with little botanical doodles in the margins of their schoolbooks. And yet their teachers tell them off for it!

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The Tulip (wankius offikuss) ranges from four inches to 28 inches with fleshy, strap-shaped leaves and they usually have just one flower per stalk, making them good value at 99p a bunch from Tesco’s.

Giving a yellow or red tulip has historically been a declaration of love, with the black centre of the cup-shaped flower representing a heart burned out by passion after a night at Wetherspoons and a chicken vindaloo. There are tulip festivals around the world, including such exotic locations as Spalding in Lincolnshire.

In 1637 Tulip Mania hit Holland with fanatics paying the price of a HOUSE for a single bulb. This makes a bag of them from B & Q an absolute bargain. Of course you could try making an estate agent an offer with a tulip bulb for a three-bed semi in Ipswich Town, or a terrace of them in Norwich City.

Tulips are easy to grow, with bulbs going in around October to January. For maximum satisfaction, planting depth is a good six inches. Simply stick the bulb in the hole pointy side up. If you have a problem, try replanting deeper next time! At this time of year, just water them well. A single tulip looks lovely in a used Adnams bottle.

tulipsTiptoe through the tulips – or you’ll break them

People often ask me: “What is the difference between a perennial and an annual?”

The answer is that a perennial plant comes back year after year, which for skin-flint, lazy Suffolk Gazette readers, are a good bet. Favourite perennials are foxgloves and hollyhocks, cone-flowers, delphiniums and lupins. And there’s nothing more pleasing to my eye in the middle of the bed than the sight of a good red-hot poker.

An annual on the other hand, is a book that normally comes out at Christmas for Beano or Star Wars fans, and often has a selection of short stories and a little maze to find your way through with a felt-tip pen.

I’ve been busy this week preparing my plant labels. I make them from used lolly sticks. My personal favourite is the white chocolate Magnum. I needed 54 and after completing the job I can hardly squeeze through the greenhouse door. But think of all the money I saved instead of buying ready-made labels from Wyevale’s!

I’ve also been tending my young plants I grew on from my seedlings after hardening off. I found some short and curly ones in the shed, then remembered they were parsley.

Jobs to do this week

Jobs that you should be doing this week are planting your dahlia tubers now that the frost has gone. Dahlias and asters are back in fashion and make wonderful cut flowers, as do the underrated poor old carnations. With the dahlias, I like a good spiky one while my husband likes a tight Pom Pom.

Grappling with plums

I notice many of your questions are about issues with your plums. If you want to grow some, get yourself along to a good plumsman. I can recommend The Julian Clary Garden Centre off the A14 in Nacton.

Plums come in all shapes and sizes, with the most famous English one being The Victoria, named after Queen Victoria who liked to grab Prince Albert by his in the garden at Osborne House on the Isle of Wight. They had nine children as a result.

pair of plumsA juicy pair of plums, ripe and ready for pulling off

I love plums but often find the supermarket imports disappointing with a dark mouldy centre where they have been chilled in transit. You need to beware of getting your plums too cold.

If you don’t like the taste of plums, I would recommend a good dollop of Ambrosia tinned custard to help things along.

Your other questions answered

* Ms S B of Stowmarket: Well, I can we’ll see your frustration. I think you should get an extendable hose pipe.

* Fred from Trimley: They sound like absolute whoppers. Have you thought of exhibiting at the Women’s Institute garden show?

* Mr T S from Ipswich: You really needn’t worry about things like a deformed carrot. It’s not what you’ve got but what you do with it.

That’s it for now. Have a good week!

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Yorkshire terrier acts like belligerent Yorkshireman

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Yorkshire terrier acts like belligerent Yorkshireman

A desperate Suffolk dog lover has called in animal behaviour experts after her Yorkshire Terrier began developing unsavoury Yorkshire characteristics.

Serena Johnson, from Wetheringsett, said she first noticed something was odd when three-year-old Roger began barking differently.

“His happy little yap definitely began developing a high-pitched northern accent to it. It was grouchy and a bit weird, to be honest.”

But then the little Yorkie started changing his behaviour, becoming increasingly stubborn and refusing to obey simple commands from his owner.

The last straw came when he turned from being a peaceful little dog into a bull-headed menace that would not share toys and attacked other animals in the park.

yorkshire terrierYorkshire terror: Roger has changed, according to his owner
“He now only likes whippets,” said Mrs Johnson, 52, who works in a local bakery. “It’s as though he thinks all other dogs are snooty and only his sort are worth bothering with. He’s become terribly territorial.

“I’m really rather upset about it; I just want my old Roger back.”

Dr Lorraine Fisher, 34, an animal behaviour expert at the University of East Anglia, said: “This is actually quite common. Dogs have inherent hidden behaviours from their breeding line which do occasionally come to the fore.

“We once had an Irish Wolfhound that wouldn’t stop drinking. Then there was a Norfolk Terrier that wouldn’t leave his sister alone, and a French Poodle that started treating its owner with complete indifference.”

Deluded Norwich plan to ‘do a Leicester’

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Deluded Norwich plan to ‘do a Leicester’

Norwich City claim they will “do a Leicester” by winning next season’s Premier League after struggling to stay up this campaign.

Owner Delia Smith is convinced her Norfolk rank outsiders will lift the trophy next year against all the odds.

“If Leicester can do it, so can we,” a deluded Carrow Road insider said. “It looks easy enough.”

But football experts predict Norwich fans might be disappointed because they will in fact be relegated in two weeks.

“I am afraid Norwich have never won anything at all, and that’s not about to change.

“Even when a small club comes from nowhere to win the league, it’s not going to be Norwich – but a team in blue.”

norwich-trophy-cabinetEmpty: the Norwich City trophy cabinet

Canary supporters must be sick to death of facing higher-achieving blue teams, with neighbours Ipswich having already “done a Leicester”.

The Super Blues won the top division in 1962 at the first time of asking having risen up from the old Third Division (South) under Sir Alf Ramsey.

Editor’s note: being serious for a minute, do read this story which reveals Sir Alf Ramsey’s humble final resting place.

The Queen and Obamas join Prince Harry in video spoof

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The Queen and Obamas join Prince Harry in video spoof

By Jane Seymour, Royal Correspondent

If you need to promote your sporting event, who better to ask than the Queen and the Obamas? Fortunately, Prince Harry was able to rope them all in for this funny video to promote the Invictus Games.

Perhaps Harry’s message alert tone will catch on?

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