Friday, September 20, 2024
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Woman shunned after finishing Christmas shopping

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By Colin Allcabs
Consumer Correspondent

A woman who boasted she had already completed all her Christmas shopping has been shunned by her friends and run out of town.

Judith Pyle-Smith told pals at a charity coffee morning that she had also wrapped all the gifts in glossy paper, tied fabulous red-ribbon bows, and written on delicate home-made name tags.

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And to add insult to injury, the Suffolk mother-of-three then posted a status on Facebook saying she could now sit back and relax while the rest of Britain gets increasingly frenzied in the coming months.

But Pyle-Smith is not smiling now, after her friend became incensed by her smug behaviour.

“She’s just a show-off,” one of her former friends told us. “It’s been the same every year. She thinks she’s so clever getting all her bits and pieces together over the summer while the rest of us leave Christmas shopping to the last minute and end up panicking.

“She’s clearly got way too much time on her hands.”

Ho bloody Ho: keen shopper was shunned

Pyle-Smith, 33, has now been unfriended by everyone on Facebook and been barred from her social circle in Ipswich.

She is now selling up and house-hunting in Norfolk.

“I’m confused,” she told the Suffolk Gazette. “I thought I would be an inspiration to busy mothers everywhere and people would love to hear how clever and efficient I have been.

“I didn’t even get a chance to tell them that I had already booked next summer’s holiday.”

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Rail passengers mourn ‘dying’ train company

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Exclusive
By Casey Jones
Railways Correspondent

Thousands of East Anglian rail passengers gathered in London last night to pay their last respects to a “dying” train company.

The Greater Anglia customers wanted to say their fond farewells after rumours swept the capital that their beloved train operator was on its last legs.

They flocked to Liverpool Street station and refused to budge for hours, deciding to stay united in their grief.

However, it emerged after three hours that the company’s evening operations were wheezing back to life and it was, for now, back from the dead.

Overjoyed at this great news, the mourners drifted away into the evening on the small number of trains that were actually able to leave the station.

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Grief: Mourners at Liverpool Street station tonight

A Greater Anglia insider said: “We had a near-death experience and everything stopped. But somehow we eventually got our sh*t together and managed to get some people home.”

Commuter Andy Hills from Ipswich said: “It was a great relief that our beloved train operator survived the evening.

“I’m glad I was able to be at Liverpool Street for hours to see the recovery.”

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Constable Savage in the dog house

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Classic sketch from Not The Nine O’Clock News, with Griff Rhys Jones as the racist copper and Rowan Atkinson playing his infuriated boss.

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Man-eating shark seen in Suffolk river

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EXCLUSIVE
By Courtney Pike, Angling Correspondent

Families have been warned to avoid paddling in Suffolk’s River Deben after a man-eating shark was spotted hunting for seals near Wadringfield.

Open water swimmers and small boat owners have also been told to beware of the six-foot Great White, which has appeared twice in recent days.

The shark has taken advantage of warmer waters to travel around the south coast into the North Sea.

Experts say it then became attracted by seals in the Deben estuary near Felixstowe Ferry, and swam inland, where it has plenty of protection from reeds and muddy water.

Members of the UK Shark Society have been out on the river since Saturday. They hope to find the shark and then guide it back to sea, from where it is expected to migrate back to the Atlantic.

“It is most unusual,” said the society’s Sean Finn. “These creatures are not normally seen around here.

“We would advise people to keep out of the water for now – these things can give a nasty nip.”

However, the mayor of Waldringfield, Peter Grimes urged everyone to enjoy the river as normal.

“It’s perfectly safe to come here, enjoy all we have to offer, and swim. The water is great!”

Local fisherman Trevor Whymark was less convinced, however.

“I’m going to need a bigger boat,” he said.

Suffolk shark expert Lorraine Fisher, 34, said she did not believe the shark was the same one that attacked a Felixstowe windsurfer in 2016.

Harry Enfield Association Football

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In this classic video, Harry Enfield portrays how the ‘old-fashioned’ footballers from Arsenal would get on in a cup final against modern-day Liverpool at Wembley.

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Ultimate dog tease video: bacon

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This dog loves bacon, but isn’t getting any. The ultimate dog tease video has had more than 170 million views on YouTube.

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Cute boy, 5, finds out he’s going to be a big brother

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This is the moment a young boy finds out he’s going to be a big brother. His reaction is priceless, although it gets a little awkward when he asks his mum how she made the new baby!

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James Corden and Stevie Wonder

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James Corden and music legend Stevie Wonder carpool through Los Angeles singing some of his classic songs – and Stevie suggests he and James start a group called the Wondercats.

Stevie Wonder’s 20-city tour ‘Songs In The Key Of Life Performance’ starts on September 30 in Montreal and ends on November 24 at New York’s Madison Square Garden.

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