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Police chase stolen combine harvester for five miles, slowly

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Police chase stolen combine harvester for five miles, slowly

Combine police chase

By Rob Banks, Crime Editor

A thief stole a combine harvester and led police on the slowest five-mile chase on record, it has emerged.

The sneaky criminal struck while farm workers in Stanton, Suffolk were on a break from the wheat harvest.

He climbed in the cockpit and sped off at 6mph as farm labourers tried to give chase on foot.

Meanwhile, farmer Paul Eaton called cops as his prized £500,000 yellow New Holland harvester trundled towards a gate at the bottom of the field.

The thief smashed through the gate, damaging part of a hedge, and then disappeared up the country lane towards Bury St Edmunds.

Police soon caught up with the harvester, which had by now shed it’s header – the cutting blades at the front – and was weaving erratically.

Combine harvester

A spokesman said: “We had four patrol cars with blue lights flashing behind the harvester, but we could not overtake on the lanes.

“It was frustrating for the traffic units to be forced to follow helplessly at 6mph for so long – it had to be the slowest getaway attempt on record.

“The harvester hit a total of 13 parked vehicles as it sped through Hunston and Stowlangtoft at 6mph, causing £15,000 of damage.”

The police spokesman added: “We followed it for five miles until eventually it was forced to stop because it went down a dead-end just outside Pakenham.

“Officers were able to jump up to the cab and apprehend the driver before he could get out. He smelt strongly of cider.”

Mr Eaton said he was able to collect the harvester, which was undamaged, later in the day, and reattach the header before continuing with the harvest.

Police say a 27-year-old man from Cambridge had been arrested on suspicion of stealing a combine harvester, failing to stop, drink-driving, and criminal damage.

A man will appear before Bury St Edmunds Magistrates later today.

Norfolk Police check dental records to ID headless corpse

The Editor
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Norfolk Police check dental records to ID headless corpse

Headless corpse

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent
and Hugh Dunnett, Crime Correspondent

Norfolk Police will use dental records to help them identify a headless corpse found in woodland near Norwich this week.

The body was wrapped in several potato sacks and dumped in what officers describe as a “big hole”.

“We’re looking into it,” said Detective Inspector Will Nabham.

Detectives have so far drawn a blank over the identity of the male victim, whose head was missing from the grim scene in Bluebell Wood.

“We suspect foul play because the body, which had been there for around three days, does not have a head,” explained Det Insp Nabham.

“But it’s too early to say for sure. It could have been an accident.”

He explained that Norfolk Police was employing the latest forensic techniques, and would be checking dental records to help identify the man, who was believed to be around 30 years old.

“It’s a new method to help with identification in these sorts of cases. We’ll be trawling through tens of thousands of dental records.”

Police are appealing for witnesses as they have absolutely no idea what happened to the victim, or how he died – although they agree losing his head might have had something to do with it.

Force press officer John Venables said: “We are appealing for anyone who saw anything suspicious in the Bluebell Wood area to come forward.

“We appreciate most people in Norwich look suspicious, so we specifically need to speak to those who were acting more suspiciously than normal.”

He said the victim was wearing pink tracksuit bottoms and a yellow and green Norwich City football shirt.

“This could help narrow down our list of suspects to 200,000 Ipswich Town fans,” Mr Venables said.

Suffolk electrician fined for refusing to use green and yellow wire

The Editor
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Suffolk electrician fined for refusing to use green and yellow wire

Earthing wire

By Hugh Dunnett, Crime Correspondent

An electrician who refused to use green and yellow earthing wire because it reminded him of Norwich City has been fined.

John Sarjeant, from Hollesley, appeared at Ipswich magistrates charged with breaching health and safety regulations by failing to make appliances safe.

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The life-long Ipswich Town supporter admitted he never used earthing cables, attached to appliances to prevent electric shocks, because anything yellow and green made him want to vomit.

He told a stunned court: “I hate Norwich City and everything to do with the tin pot football club. Green and yellow makes me sick to the stomach.

“I couldn’t use earthing wire because of it, but so far no one has died.”

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Magistrates took a dim view, however.

Chairman of the Bench Chris Ager said: “Whilst we appreciate there will always be good-natured banter between rival local football sides like Ipswich and Norwich, you took it too far.

“You endangered the lives of your customers, and it is only a matter of luck that no one was electrocuted and killed as a result of their cookers or washing machines not being earthed correctly.”

The court heard that on one occasion Sargeant had rewired a whole house in Wickham Market, including installing a new kitchen and bathroom, without earthing a single thing.

Sarjeant, 46, was fined £450 and ordered to pay costs to the Health and Safety team at Suffolk Trading Standards.

Outside the court, he said: “I’ll just have to give up work because I still won’t use earthing cables.”

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Man walks dog

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Man walks dog

Man walks dog

A man from Suffolk has taken his dog for a walk, it has emerged.

Clive Wilkins decided to treat his dog, Goldie to some exercise when he got back from work yesterday.

He walked along Rushmere Road in Ipswich, over Humber Doucy Lane and then let Goldie off the lead for a run around the field opposite the church.

“Goldie had a lovely walk,” Mr Wilkins confirmed. “He enjoys it around there.

“He sniffed lots of things, chased a rabbit, met another dog and must have cocked his leg a dozen times.”

Mr Wilkins explained that he sometimes took a tennis ball for Goldie to play with on a walk, but on this occasion he left it at home.

The five-year-old Golden Retriever spends most of his day asleep by the front door, hoping he is going to be taken for a walk.

He wags his tail when Mr Wilkins gets his lead out of the cupboard, and it does not stop wagging until he finishes the walk.

Mr Wilkins, who works at a law firm in Ipswich, said he intends to take Goldie for another walk today.

“It’s really no trouble when the weather is nice,” he said. “It’s not as much fun in the winter, but I wrap up warm.”

The news comes just two months after a man found some rare white dog poo while walking in Suffolk.

Enquiry launched as A14 runs congestion free

The Editor
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Enquiry launched as A14 runs congestion free

A14 in Suffolk

An urgent enquiry was under way today after it was revealed the A14 was running freely from Newmarket all the way to Felixstowe.

Motorists were completely unprepared for the trouble-free journey along one of Suffolk’s major routes, and took to social media to express their surprise.

Police reported there were absolutely no delays along the A14 from any of the following:

– Roadworks

– Accidents

– Broken down lorries

– Cows on the carriageway

– Smoke from roadside fires

– Wide loads

Inspector Noah Clowes, of Suffolk Police’s traffic unit, said: “This was a first for us. It was a Monday morning, when there is normally chaos along the whole of the A14, but the road was clear.

“We expect things to return to normal by this evening, with regular hold-ups for everyone.”

Highways agency bosses have now launched an enquiry to make sure the congestion-free day cannot be repeated.

“We’d like to apologise for the stress-free day on the A14. Someone will be disciplined, just as soon as we work out who was responsible.”

Haulage boss Hugh Turner-Franks, of Hugh T F Transport, Tweeted: “All my units left Felixstowe at 7am as normal and got all the way through to Newmarket without any issues at all.

“It was quite remarkable. Something needs to be done about it.”

The news comes just two years after the Suffolk Gazette revealed that a lorry had overtaken another lorry in less than a mile on the A14 near Ipswich.

‘I’m not ogling the breasts in Game of Thrones’, insists middle-aged man

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‘I’m not ogling the breasts in Game of Thrones’, insists middle-aged man

Game of Thrones

A middle-aged man insists he is gripped by the story in Game of Thrones – and in no way watches simply to ogle at beautiful women’s breasts.

Jonathan Smith, 51, says he is enjoying the hit television series because he has always been a fan of dragons “and stuff like that”.

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But his long-suffering wife, Samantha said: “Let’s be honest, he’s just watching it for the tits.

“Jonathan was hooked by all the naked breasts and full-frontals in series one – and has kept watching ever since even though the nudity has been toned down. A bit.

“He’s never liked dragons or shown any interest in fantasy stories in their true sense – the only fantasies he enjoys now involve threesomes with buxom wenches in King’s Landing.”

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IT manager Jonathan, from Ipswich in Suffolk, refused to admit the women in the series — all of them — were attractive with shapely bodies. Even the older ones.

“I can’t say I’ve noticed,” he said. “I’m too busy trying to keep up with all the scheming and plot twists to worry about girls with no clothes on.”

Game of Thrones is currently broadcasting its seventh series, and centres around a lot of people claiming they are the true king or queen of a world in which a huge wall splits the north and the south.

The Suffolk Gazette revealed recently that Game of Thrones scenes were being filmed in Norfolk.

There are ghostly figures, wolves, witches, dragons and even a dwarf – but that’s enough about Norfolk.

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Ideal Second Home Show to thrill Suffolk coast

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Ideal Second Home Show to thrill Suffolk coast

By Peter Grimes, Aldeburgh Correspondent

The first ever Ideal Second Home Show will be a popular event on Suffolk’s Sunrise Coast, it has emerged.

Organised by local estate agents Ruth Leaks and Jim Neepots, the show celebrates the contribution made by second homeowners in the seaside towns of Aldeburgh and Southwold, as well as all the surrounding villages.

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Ms Leaks explained: “Second homeowners get a really bad press around here but they are vital to the local economy.

“Without them most of Suffolk would be a bit like Leiston or, heaven forbid, Lowestoft.”

Visitors to the show, which is being staged at Walberswick, just south of Southwold, will get the chance to meet local builders, the local planning department and other members of the neighbourhood Masonic Lodge to discuss their preposterous home improvement requirements.

There will be cookery demonstrations using non local produce, a Range Rover stand, and someone from Norfolk entertaining the children in Kiddies Korner (watched over closely by the local constabulary).

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Crucially, representatives from wood burning stoves manufacturers will also be on hand to discuss fitting requirements.

The Rev Evan Elpuss will be wandering about appealing for funds to help with the local church roof repairs, but attendees are advised they can simply ignore him.

Entry to the innovative exhibition, planned for Saturday August 19, is strictly for second home owners only. Tickets are available online now.

Visitors will require proof of their address — both here and in North London — and they’ll need to bring a picture of both their houses, their Waitrose club cards, and the name and phone number of their poorly-paid cleaner.

“Whilst this is the first show of its kind, we certainly hope it isn’t the last. Next year it will be the Second Ideal Second Home Show, which sounds quite funny,” explained Mr Neepots.

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Skinny man finishes long bicycle ride

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Skinny man finishes long bicycle ride

Bicycle ride

A skinny British man has finished a long bicycle ride in France, it has emerged.

Christopher Froome, 32, spent weeks pedaling all over the country with several hundred other cycling enthusiasts.

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They went up and down big hills and did some sprinting to keep themselves amused as they criss-crossed France.

It appears they may have bicycled an awfully long way, because they all seemed to have lost a lot of weight.

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Mr Froome has been cycling in France several times before, and clearly has a superb relationship with the French – who were so sad that his exciting bicycle ride had finished that they booed at the end.

For finishing his bike ride earlier than the rest, Mr Froome was given a yellow t-shirt.

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