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Passenger checks in at airport on Facebook, forgets to check in for flight

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Passenger checks in at airport on Facebook, forgets to check in for flight

A man was so busy using his Facebook check-in feature at Heathrow to boast he was going on holiday that forgot to check in for the actual flight.

Recruitment consultant Gerry Dammers, of Halesworth, Suffolk missed his flight with pals to Las Vegas and had to pay more than £600 to buy a ticket for the next day.

As soon as he arrived at Heathrow Airport he had begun posting on Facebook about his dream trip while all his followers were busy grafting away at work.

Then the 27-year-old used the Facebook check-in feature to show how impressive it was that the flight would leave Heathrow, head over the Atlantic and across America to Nevada.

facebook check inLook at me: Man’s airport boast cost him his flight

But while refreshing his Facebook feed constantly to see if anyone had ‘liked’ his showy status, he completely forgot that he needed to actually check in at the airline desk for the flight.

When his friends, who had already checked in and gone through security, eventually rang him from the gate, it was too late.

Travel expert Roger Wynn-Jones said: “People seem to think everyone else will be totally impressed if they update their Facebook status with a check in from the airport.

“The reality is that everyone else is busy working and don’t give a toss, so it is rather amusing that this man missed his flight because of it.”

Mr Dammers was too embarrassed to speak to the Suffolk Gazette from his room in the MGM Grand in Las Vegas today.

“Let’s just say I won’t bother posting a check-in status from the airport before I fly home,” he said.

Statement: Suffolk Gazette avoids use of covfefe

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Statement: Suffolk Gazette avoids use of covfefe

The Suffolk Gazette moved today to reassure readers it does not use negative covfefe.

US President Donald Trump caused an internet sensation overnight when he Tweeted his annoyance at the “constant negative press covfefe”.

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But a spokesman for Britain’s leading local newspaper, the Suffolk Gazette said: “We would like to make clear we avoid the use of covfefe, especially negatively.

“Covfefe is an outdated journalistic practice that has no place in the modern media, and Mr Trump was entirely correct to call it out.”

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The President made his astute observation just after midnight Washington time this morning, then appears to have gone to bed without further elaboration. His Tweet remains on his Twitter account at the time of going to press.

The Suffolk Gazette spokesman insisted no more needed to be said. “Covfefe is now out in the open as a bad thing. We are happy to distance ourselves from it.”

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British Airways offers free Bank Holiday breaks

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British Airways offers free Bank Holiday breaks

Heathrow airport

Holidaymakers are being offered the chance of an exclusive free Bank Holiday break with British Airways.

The airline is taking bookings for a three-day holiday at Heathrow Airport (above)… and it won’t cost you a penny!

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A BA spokesman said: “We came up with the idea after this weekend’s unfortunate problems for travellers who found themselves stranded. There was an atmosphere of camaraderie with families having animated chats with other families, and honeymooners and backpack students swapping tales of their bravado.

“Hundreds were sleeping on the floor using their flight bags as pillows, and we decided to offer people the chance to do the same for the August Bank Holiday.

“They can just turn up with or without suitcases and find a seat or bench to kip on for the three days.

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“There is no language problem and there are a wealth of cafes and bars and restaurants within walking distance and plenty of floor space for those who want to stretch out for a good night’s sleep.

“This is a unique opportunity for those who want a different sort of break. The only snag will be crying children and perhaps long queues for the toilet.

“We are expecting a huge response from people who don’t want to actually go anywhere.”

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Katie Hopkins joins Suffolk Gazette, attacks ‘smelly country folk’

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Katie Hopkins joins Suffolk Gazette, attacks ‘smelly country folk’

The Suffolk Gazette is proud to announce that we have signed up controversial columnist Katie Hopkins to write occasional features for us after she was sacked from every job she ever had because of her outrageous views.

Katie said: “The Suffolk Gazette is the biggest sack of shite I have ever read but nobody else will employ me so their peanuts per column is the best I can hope for. I hope the Editor falls of his bike in his pathetic lycra shorts and all the staff die of leprosy so I can edit the paper myself and make some much-needed improvements.”

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Here is Katie’s first Gazette column, penned after she lost her job at LBC radio this week. She would love you to share the column and let her know you views via the Contact Page.

HELLO, YOKELS!

How on earth do you manage to live in boring Suffolk? Fields and fields of pukey yellow jaundice rape fields for miles and miles and the hint of manure and smelly country folk in the air!

Give me Knightsbridge and Harrods any day where I can get some investment advice from those lovely rich Hooray Henry’s. At least they don’t smell of chicken shit and turnips.

Katie HopkinsKatie Hopkins: Hint of manure and smelly country folk

I wonder if you poor, uneducated oiks will be able to find the way to the polling booths for the June General Election? At least you don’t have to be able to write your name on the ballot paper. You can just do a X like all the generations before you used to write for your dole money or the rent book for those hovels you live in with your stinking cats and dogs and ragged-trousered snot-covered deformed children with their fleas and rickets.

I will vote for the party that empties the bins more often. We need those refuse lorries like they have in that foreign Spain or Greece that collect the crap and swish the streets with water.
If they could grab up all those homeless twats and take them off to the nearest tip, then so much the better in my humble view.

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What are all these empty shops in Suffolk about? I heard that Stowmarket couldn’t even support a pound shop with its quid pregnancy-testing kits and Rizla papers. We need to gather up all these poor people and shove them into the sea off Lowestoft, leaving just the old-money families with their Tudor mansions.

Do let me know how you’re going to vote. Do you really need all those foreigners picking your strawberries? Why not just have your fruit and veg flown in from California? These are the kind of decisions our politicians need to come up with. What suggestions do you have for them? Subsidized farm smocks for sitting on your walls chewing a bit of straw? Or free swedes and sugar beets for schoolchildren?

Just reply on this column. Please don’t write to me as I don’t want to touch your germy writing paper.

Yours, Katie

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Supermarkets packed as shoppers fear Bank Holiday food shortage

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Supermarkets packed as shoppers fear Bank Holiday food shortage
Supermarkets were packed out today amid fears families may not have enough food to last through the Bank Holiday weekend. Housewives went into a panic over whether they had sufficient grub to last until Tuesday – so they spent hundreds of pounds in Tesco and Aldi today just in case. Mum-of-three Karen Wyles, from Eye, Suffolk said: “No one really wants to nip to the shops on Bank Holiday monday, so we’re taking no chances and buying everything in sight today.” That means 15 bags packed full of every foodstuff imaginable, most of which would remain uneaten and be thrown away. Retail analyst Jordan Spencer said: “People are behaving like the shops will be closed for weeks. They are buying stuff they don’t even like to eat. “And many are snapping up huge quantities of meat for barbecues that will never happen because it always pisses down with rain on a Bank Holiday.” Like the Suffolk Gazette on Facebook now!

New Norwich boss was professional Roger Federer lookalike

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New Norwich boss was professional Roger Federer lookalike

By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent

New Norwich City manager Daniel Farke accepted the role after working for 15 years as a professional Roger Federer lookalike, it has emerged.

Farke, 40, was somehow persuaded to join the Norfolk football club after being told of its glowing history as a past “participant” in the UEFA Cup.

But after arriving at Carrow Road and seeing the empty trophy cabinet, Farke is already regretting leaving his previous job opening tennis centres and supermarkets in his native Germany.

He told the Suffolk Gazette: “I was happy being a Roger Federer lookalike. I was good at it, and it brought in enough money for me and my family.

“Then Norwich got in touch because they thought I was the bloke who manages the Borussia Dortmund reserve team. It’s all a bit of a mix-up and now it’s too late to turn back.”

Daniel Farke and Roger FedererDaniel Farke, left, was a Roger Federer lookalike
Farke has now traded in his tennis shorts, headbands and crisp Nike shirts for the hideous yellow and green sporting attire of the Canaries.

Sources say he has been in touch with David Wagner, the previously unknown German manager of Huddersfield Town, who took his side to the play-off final, for advice – and was told: “You should have gone to Ipswich.”

Elderly man’s fury as new loo ‘urinal’ covers him in pee

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Elderly man’s fury as new loo ‘urinal’ covers him in pee

Dyson hand dryer lavatory

An elderly man has complained about the “newfangled urinal” in a public loo – which sprayed him with urine.

Derek Beavis, 78, was horrified when he used the public convenience off Hamilton Road in Felixstowe, because it covered him with his own pee.

The retired teacher, pictured above with the offending item, said: “I saw this newfangled urinal attached to the wall. It was an odd shape but I put that down to everything having to look cool these days. And to be honest I was a bit desperate, so I didn’t look too closely.

“When I began to relieve myself it made a noise like a jet engine and then all this air came out with such force that it sprayed me all over with my own pee.

“It covered my coat, my trousers and even went all over my face. Trouble is, once I start I can’t stop, so I had to stand there until I had finished.

“Luckily it was raining outside, so nobody noticed that I was soaking wet as I made my way back home. I got some odd looks on the bus, though, and nobody seemed to want to sit next to me.”

Mr Beavis said he complained to Suffolk Coastal District Council, but was told the urinal was not faulty, but was in fact a high-speed Airblade hand Dyson dryer.

The Felixstowe public loo was made famous two years ago when local OAP Gladys Phillips got locked in for four days.

Gingers warned to stay indoors as heat wave hits UK

The Editor
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Gingers warned to stay indoors as heat wave hits UK

Gingers warned to stay indoors

Gingers have been warned to stay indoors this week as Britain braces itself for a heatwave, it has emerged.

Pale-skinned red-heads could fry within minutes as temperatures across the UK soar above 20 degrees.

The south-east is expected to be hotter than Barcelona as unseasonably warm air is swept up from the south.

But while most of us will relish the thermometer topping an incredible 22 degrees centigrade, gingers everywhere will be gloomy unless they put on strong sun cream.

Claus Thomas, of the Institute for Sunshine Dermatology said: “While it’s good news for most, the Caribbean heatwave is jolly bad luck for ginger people.

“They will have to stay indoors, or at least cover up with a coat and a hat should they venture outside.

“The risk will be particularly significant in Scotland for gingers, where most people are ginger. The streets will be deserted.”

Ginger-haired Lorraine Fisher, 34, of Ipswich, Suffolk, said: “I’m fed up with everyone saying how great the weather will be. I will get sunburn if I step outside for more than 30 seconds.”

She added that her legs turned a painful pink when she stood next to the cooker last week, so she had to be extra careful.

Weatherman Steve Walshe said Britain was looking forward to the first spell of warm weather this year.

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