Apple’s Asspod™ enhances earpods music from the bottom up
APPLE STORE, LONDON – Tech giant, Apple has announced the release of a new accessory designed to enhance the audio experience of their popular EarPods. Apple’s EarPods get a bass boost – meet the new ‘Asspod’ subwoofer.
By Our Consumer Correspondent: Colin Allcabs
Alongside their sleek design and high-quality sound. Users can now opt for an additional subwoofer component. Aptly named the “Asspod,” to take their music to the next level.
The Asspod, touted as a revolutionary advancement in audio technology. It offers users the opportunity to feel the bass frequencies of their favourite tunes more emphatically. How, you ask?
Well, in a move that has left many choking on their breakfast cereal. The Asspod is designed to be inserted into the anus, allowing for a more immersive bass experience.
Dirty Bass
While some may question the hygiene and comfort of such a feature, Apple assures customers that the Asspod, which resembles a traditional butt plug, has been meticulously designed with ergonomics and user experience in mind. The sleek, lightweight design ensures a secure fit, while the durable construction promises longevity.
However, the announcement has sparked controversy and caused watering eyes among consumers and industry experts alike. Some have criticized Apple for taking innovation a step too far, while others have expressed concerns about the potential health risks associated with inserting electronic devices into bodily orifices.
Low-end
In response to the backlash, Apple has defended their decision, stating that the Asspod, which comes with a health warning, is entirely optional and aimed at users seeking a more immersive audio experience. They emphasize that the product undergoes rigorous testing to ensure safety and comfort for all users.
Despite the mixed reactions, it seems that Apple is committed to pushing the boundaries of audio technology. Whether the Asspod will revolutionize the way we listen to music or simply become a footnote in the annals of tech history remains to be seen.
Suffolk’s stargazers struggle to stay awake for northern light show
THE SKY, SUFFOLK – Suffolk’s mystics and soothsayers have issued a dire warning to those who failed to witness the event firsthand. Claiming ancient knowledge passed down through generations. These mystical figures are insisting that failing to stay awake until the early hours of the morning to witness the Northern Lights could result in death.
By Our Norfolk Reporter: Ian Bred
As the Northern Lights, or Aurora Borealis, graced the skies of Suffolk this weekend. Residents were treated to a breathtaking display of vibrant colours dancing across the horizon.
This rare phenomenon, typically seen only in the northern regions of the British Isles and Scandinavia. Captured the attention of locals and tourists alike.
According to local lore, the Northern Lights hold mystical significance and are believed to possess the power to ward off evil spirits and bring good fortune to those who witness them. Conversely, those who neglect this opportunity risk inviting misfortune and even death upon themselves.
Hazy or lazy?
Despite lacking scientific evidence to support their claims. These mystics have long held sway over the beliefs and superstitions of Suffolk’s residents. Many are taking heed of their warnings, staying awake into the wee hours of the morning in hopes of catching a glimpse of the ethereal lights and avoiding the dreaded consequences foretold by the mystics.
Northern lights & the storm
Meanwhile, the Met Office has confirmed that space weather experts issued a rare severe geomagnetic storm warning for the weekend. Marking the first such warning in nearly 20 years.
This unprecedented event has only fueled the mystics’ assertions, with some claiming that the intensity of the geomagnetic storm amplifies the spiritual significance of the Northern Lights.
As pictures of the aurora borealis continue to flood social media, the debate rages on between skeptics and believers. While some dismiss the warnings as mere superstition, others are taking no chances, choosing to embrace Suffolk’s mystical traditions and safeguard their well-being in the face of awesome cosmic phenomena.
WESTMINSTER, LONDON – A sniffer dog was seen leaping across the famous green leather commons benches as she checked the House of Commons …for bullshit.
By our Political Correspondent: Polly Ticks
Barely literate Speaker of the House of Commons, Sir Lindsay Hoyle let Spaffy. A ‘bullshit detective dog’, sit in his chair as part of her sweep of the Commons. After she sniffed out a powerful odour coming from his general direction.
The super-sniffing shit-detecting labrador was awarded a “canine OBE” for her work in checking for politicians talking crap in parliament.
Sniffer dog debate
Her handler, WPC Clod, said Spaffy, now five, regularly goes into corridors. Buildings and the main debating chambers at Westminster to sniff out MPs incessant bullshit.
“We regularly clock up 8 hours a day, but with the amount of bullshit that goes on in parliament. Even that isn’t enough. Spaffy is amazing and I trust in her 100%,” she said.
Vote Labrador
Speaker Hoyle, famous for stumbling over even the most basic of sentences. While simultaneously losing control of MPs in the house keeps pets himself, including a parrot called ‘Stalin’ and a 16kg tortoise called ‘Kinnock’.
“I, I, well I felt, as I said, honoured to, to, like I said, meet with Spaffy and whatever her handler is called, er … PC Clod – who are both a brave and, like I said, talented double act.” Hoyle told the SUFFOLK GAZETTE as Spaffy sniffed fervently at his trouser leg.
“We are fortunate to, like I said, have police dogs like, er, er, Spaffy conducting daily searches in Parliament. Ensuring the safety of the public by preventing MPs, on both sides of the house, from talking bollocks.
It’s only upon learning about the work of Spaffy and her fellow canine companions that one truly. I mean this most sincerely, grasps the importance of their efforts in safeguarding us all from verbal diarrhoea. Like I said.”
If you’re looking to give your home a fresh, stylish update in 2024, wall panelling is the trend you need to get on board with. This classic design element is making a huge comeback, bringing texture, warmth, and visual interest to interior spaces.
Wall panelling has been around for centuries, with its roots dating back to the 16th century when the wealthy used wood panelling to insulate and decorate their grand estate homes. In more recent decades, it fell out of favour as drywall became the standard for quick, low-cost wall surfaces. But now panelling is experiencing a renaissance as homeowners seek more character and dimension in their living spaces.
“Panelling creates such a rich, luxurious feel,” says James Bryant from Cut My. “It makes rooms feel elevated and cosy at the same time. With so many different panelling styles and materials available today, it’s an easy way to add architectural interest and your own personal style.”
What’s Driving the Wall Panelling Trend in 2024?
Several factors are fueling the rise of wall panelling as a must-have design element:
The Desire for Texture
In a world of smooth drywall and minimalist decor, panelling provides a much-needed dose of visual and tactile texture. The depth, lines, and material of panelling energise flat surfaces and make spaces feel more dynamic.
The Craving for Warmth
Many homeowners are moving away from the stark, cold aesthetics of modern design toward warmer, cosier environments. Wood panelling in particular brings organic warmth and rustic charm.
The Need for Character
Panelling is an easy way to add architectural character to builder-basic homes. Raised panel designs, board and batten, and shiplap styles deliver interest and personality lacking in plain drywall boxes.
The Popularity of Accent Walls
Accent walls has been a huge design trend for adding pops of drama and style. Covering an accent wall with panelling is an impactful yet relatively low-commitment update compared to doing an entire room.
Trendy Panelling Materials & Styles for 2024
While wood is the classic panelling material, the options have expanded dramatically to include vinyl, faux stone and brick veneers, and even 3D wallcoverings that mimic the look of panelling. Some of the hottest styles include:
Shiplap
This horizontal plank style evokes modern farmhouse vibes and creates rich textural landscapes. Shiplap panelling is having a major moment in 2024 from accent walls to full room makeovers.
Raised Panels
Crisp, clean lines and a tailored traditional aesthetic make raised panel designs a favourite for living rooms, dining rooms, and home offices. Raised panels come in wood as well as less expensive MDF.
Board and Batten
The timeless board and batten style features wide vertical planks broken up by horizontal battens, lending architectural gravitas. It’s a classic for entryways and hallways.
3D Wall Panels
For renters or anyone seeking a non-permanent solution, 3D wallpaper and tile panels mimic the look of wood, stone or brick panelling without the installation hassle. Peel and stick varieties make this an easy DIY.
Getting the Panelling Look for Less
While genuine solid wood panelling made from materials like oak, cherry, and walnut tends to be pricier, there are affordable ways to get the trendy panelling aesthetic:
Vinyl Planks
Durable vinyl planks that snap together provide the look of wood panelling for a fraction of the cost. They’re water-resistant and easy for DIYers to install.
Wood Composites
From MDF to laminate, engineered wood panels are more budget-friendly than solid wood yet still deliver the warmth and character of the real thing.
Wall Stencils
Using stencils to paint on a plank or panel pattern transforms plain walls and provides the look of built-in panelling.
Removable and wallpapered panels also allow you to embrace the panelling style without a major remodel. With its mix of traditional roots and au courant appeal, wall panelling is quickly becoming the hottest home improvement project for 2024. What are you waiting for? Start designing your own panelled paradise!
Keep your eyes on the road: Invisible council workers claim they are working even when you can’t see them
A14, GREAT BLAKENHAM, SUFFOLK – Concealed council road workers in Suffolk have erected a sign along a stretch of roadworks, declaring, “We are working out of sight so you might not see us.” Hmmmm.
By our Norfolk Reporter: Ian Bred
The sign, positioned strategically to catch the attention of passing motorists. Seems to acknowledge the frustration that often accompanies roadworks. Where workers appear to be conspicuously absent from the scene.
Invisible council workers
Whether the sign is a genuine reflection of the workers’ dedication to the job in hand, or a clever ploy to disguise their indolence and preempt complaints about prolonged roadworks remains unclear.
For motorists navigating through the maze of orange traffic cones and temporary lights. The sign serves as both a reassurance and a reminder of the ‘alleged’ work happening just out of sight.
While some may interpret the message as a tongue-in-cheek confirmation of the workers’ ghostly presence, others might see it as a clever tactic to cover unauthorized absence.
Not seeing is not believing
Indeed, if the workers are toiling away behind the scenes as claimed, they seem to be doing an exceptional job of remaining undetected. The extensive roadworks which are set to continue into the next century, remain shrouded in mystery and obscured from view. Leaving motorists guessing about the true extent of the workers’ efforts.
As suspicious motorists continue to navigate through the never-ending maze of cones and detours, they can’t help but ponder the age-old question: If a jackhammer is being used out of sight, does anyone hear it?
Airline engineers repair damaged wing with gaffer tape
EDINBURGH AIRPORT – In yet another setback for the beleaguered aerospace giant, Boeing found itself embroiled in controversy when a passenger noticed gaffer tape on the left wing of a Boeing 787 during a flight to Scotland.
By our Aviation Correspondent: Courtney Pike
Graeme Crabfoot, a 61-year-old git, recounted the incident, which unfolded during his journey from Ipswich Airport to Edinburgh with his fiancée, to the SUFFOLK GAZETTE. The otherwise uneventful flight took a surprising turn when Crabfoot noticed a patchwork of silver adhesive on one of the plane’s wings.
“It began peeling off mid-flight, I thought, ‘What the blazes!?’ I pointed it out to the missus — she just said, ‘I wish you hadn’t come on this holiday,'” lamented Crabfoot.
Photos accompanying his account depict strips of tape reminiscent of a makeshift repair of a missing rear side window on a 1982 Ford Capri. Boeing, however, moved swiftly to allay fears, asserting that the adhesive in question is “speed tape,” sanctioned by the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) for temporary fixes of holes.
Wing went wrong
According to a Boeing spokesperson, the tape was likely employed to address “paint adhesion” issues observed on certain 787s. The material serves to prevent paint from peeling off and does not compromise the aircraft’s structural integrity.
While acknowledging that the tape may appear terrifying, the spokesperson assured that it is merely a stopgap measure until someone can nip down to B&Q for some paint to add a new black topcoat layer.
Boeing has recently been plagued by safety concerns that began after a door panel blew off a Boeing 737 MAX 9 jet during a flight from Coventry to the Moon.
Damaged wing with safety
Despite Boeing’s reassurances, the sight of tape on an aircraft inevitably raises eyebrows, especially given the company’s recent safety woes. These concerns were amplified following another incident involving a toilet seat detachment on a Boeing 737 MAX 9 operated by Suffolk Airlines, where missing cable ties were discovered.
Everyone has an assortment of silver items they hold dear, from jewelry and coins to family heirlooms and silverware. Although these items provide sentimental value, they can also be an unexpected source of considerable financial gain. For those who have ever considered fetching a handsome price for their silver, now is probably the best time to take that leap. This article will guide you on why you should consider selling your silver now and how this decision could significantly benefit you.
Why Sell Silver Now
A variety of current market trends have good news, for those of you who are decided and already looking to sell silver, that now is an excellent time to proceed with this plan. Here are several compelling reasons why you want to act now rather than later.
Current Silver Prices
While gold has long been the standard for precious metal investments, silver has recently been experiencing a surge in price. This increase is due to the heightened demand for silver in various industries, from technology to pharmaceuticals. Additionally, the economic uncertainties stirred by global events have driven people to invest more in precious metals, further driving up the price of silver. Thus, selling your silver now could potentially garner you a higher return.
Increased Industrial Demand
Silver’s rising demand isn’t solely based on its status as a precious metal. It also stems from its widespread use in numerous industries. Silver’s unique properties make it indispensable in the production of solar panels, electronics, medical devices, and more. With the ongoing surge in these industries, the demand for silver is expected to continue climbing, making it a seller’s market.
Economic Uncertainty
In times of economic instability and volatility, precious metals like silver and gold tend to retain or even increase their value. Financial experts often advocate investing in precious metals as a hedge against inflation and currency fluctuations. Therefore, if you sell your silver now, you’re likely at an advantage considering the ongoing economic uncertainties.
The Rise of Online Selling Platforms
The internet has drastically changed the way we buy and sell items. The rise of online platforms has made the process of selling silver more straightforward and convenient than ever before. You no longer need to visit pawnshops or negotiate with local jewelers. Instead, you can get a fair price for your silver and transact safely without leaving your home.
Investing the Gains
Selling your silver can provide you with funds for investments that you might not have otherwise. Financial markets are becoming increasingly accessible to the average person, meaning your silver’s value could be transferred into potentially lucrative prospects such as stocks, mutual funds, or real estate.
Where to Sell
If you’re convinced that now is the right time to sell your silver, you might be wondering where you should go to do it. Reputable online platforms offer you a convenient and secure place to sell your silver. These platforms will give you a fair price based on the weight and purity of your silver, factoring in current market prices. Local pawnshops and jewelry stores also buy silver, but they may not offer you as much because of the overhead costs involved in running a brick-and-mortar store.
Added Insights and Practical Advice
Understanding Silver Types and Categories
Silver items aren’t just limited to one or two forms; there are multiple categories that you might possess and consider selling. Here’s a closer look at these types:
Sterling Silver Items
Sterling silver is a popular type due to its composition (92.5% silver and 7.5% other metals, typically copper). Items commonly made from sterling silver include flatware, photo frames, jewelry, and decorative objects. Due to its high purity, sterling silver holds substantial intrinsic value and is highly sought after by collectors and investors.
Coin Silver
Before sterling silver became widely used in the United States, coin silver was prevalent for making flatware and some types of jewelry. Made from melted down coins, this silver is typically 90% pure. Although less pure than sterling, coin silver has historical significance, which might enhance its value.
Silver Jewelry and Accessories
Silver jewelry varies widely in purity, with some pieces crafted from fine silver (99.9% purity) and others from lower purity silver. The value often depends on the craftsmanship, design, and whether the pieces include precious stones or other materials.
Antique and Collectible Silver
Older silver items, particularly those from notable periods or featuring exceptional craftsmanship, can be particularly valuable. Collectible pieces include serving trays, ornamental bowls, and tea sets, often from distinguished manufacturers or specific historical eras.
Silver Bullion
Bullion refers to silver in the form of bars or ingots, crafted specifically for investment purposes. These items are typically marked with their purity and weight, and their value is closely tied to the current market price of silver.
Industrial Silver
While not commonly sold by individuals, silver used in industrial applications, such as in electronics and medical devices, underscores the broad utility and demand for this metal.
Historical and Artistic Value
Silver items that can be attributed to a specific artist, era, or style may carry additional value beyond the weight and purity of the silver. Artistic designs, craftsmanship, and historical significance can elevate the desirability of silver items. For instance, pieces from the Art Deco period or items bearing hallmarks of renowned silversmiths are often sought after!
Conclusion
In conclusion, several factors currently align to make this an opportune moment to cash in on your silver. The rising market price of silver, increased industrial demand, economic instability, and the convenience of online platforms all contribute to making this an ideal time to sell.
Selling your silver can be a financially rewarding decision, especially when you consider the various types of silver you might own and the current favorable market conditions. Each type of silver—from bullion to antique collectibles—carries its own set of considerations in terms of market demand and potential value. By understanding these factors and timing your sale wisely, you can maximize your return while parting with items that might otherwise sit unused.
The Psychological Benefits of Varied Gaming Environments for Professional Players
Research indicates that engaging in a variety of video game genres offers cognitive and emotional benefits, particularly for professional players. For older adults, this diversity in gameplay is correlated with enhanced cognitive flexibility, working memory, and abstract reasoning capabilities. Specifically, the challenges presented by different game types can mirror complex problem-solving scenarios, requiring players to adapt strategies, manage resources, and navigate intricate environments, thereby honing these cognitive skills. Such engagement is not limited to a single genre; action video games are known to refine visual attention and spatial cognition, suggesting that fast-paced gameplay can augment one’s ability to process and react to rapidly changing visual stimuli.
The domain of multiplayer gaming, including both action and role-playing games, extends beyond cognitive benefits to encompass social dimensions. These platforms reduce feelings of loneliness by fostering social connections, offering a shared space where individuals with common interests can interact. The number of online poker players, predominantly male but with a substantial 40% female demographic, illustrates the breadth of gaming’s appeal and its capacity for community building. With PokerStars, for instance, commanding a substantial share of the global online poker market, it becomes apparent how online platforms can bring together vast communities of players.
Furthermore, the social dynamics of multiplayer games encourage the development of emotional regulation abilities. Players often encounter stressful situations within games, such as high-stakes competition or the need for team collaboration under pressure. The ability to manage one’s emotions, maintain focus, and communicate effectively in these scenarios can have profound implications for emotional wellbeing outside of gaming environments. Studies highlight that esports players, known for their involvement across different game genres, exhibit superior emotional regulation capabilities. This attribute is important in both personal and professional spheres, as it facilitates coping with stress and adversity more effectively.
Stress Relief and Mental Wellbeing in the Gaming Community
The benefits of varied gaming environments extend to mental health, offering avenues for stress relief and a positive impact on mood. A notable proportion of video game players, particularly in Canada, have reported that gaming activities contribute to a reduction in stress levels and feelings of anxiety. This sentiment is reflected globally, with a majority of players recognizing the ability of games to enhance their emotional state. This phenomenon can be attributed to the immersive nature of games, which provides a temporary escape from real-world pressures, allowing individuals to engage in activities that elicit positive emotions and a sense of achievement.
During the COVID-19 pandemic, the role of video games as a buffer against stress, anxiety, and depression was particularly evident. The surge in online poker revenue and the general increase in gaming activity during this period underscore the importance of digital entertainment platforms as coping mechanisms in times of global crisis. The mechanism behind this effect involves not only the diversion provided by the games but also the stimulation of dopamine release in the brain, associated with pleasure and reward.
Moreover, multiplayer games that require cooperative play have been found to foster meaningful social connections. These interactions help build support networks that are essential for resilience to stress and adversity. Initiatives like the World Health Organization’s #PlayApartTogether campaign highlight the potential of online gaming to promote social interaction and connectivity in hard times.
In professional gaming circles, however, the intense demands of the industry can pose risks, including burnout and social isolation. Despite these challenges, the provision of emotional regulation tools, stress relief avenues, and social connectivity through varied gaming experiences signifies the complex role of video games in modern society.
For those involved in professional gaming or simply those who partake in gaming as a hobby, understanding the importance of diversified gaming experiences is key. This understanding not only enhances one’s skill set across multiple domains but also contributes to a healthier, more balanced approach to gaming. For example, strategies employed in competitive gaming though requiring intense focus, also enable one’s mental flexibility. In this context, traveling for poker and engaging in tournaments can further enhance a player’s experience, exposing them to new environments and strategies, thereby contributing to both personal growth and professional development.
