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Four jumps racing stars who disappointed on their seasonal reappearances

The Editor
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Four jumps racing stars who disappointed on their seasonal reappearances
Four jumps racing stars who disappointed on their seasonal reappearances
Four jumps racing stars who disappointed on their seasonal reappearances

The 2022-23 jumps racing season is in full flow, with all roads already leading to the Cheltenham Festival in March as the stars of the show begin to be turned out by the big-name trainers in a bid to get them in tip-top shape for the four-day Prestbury Park thriller next year.

Not all the top horses have managed to hit the ground running, however, with some of the ante-post favourites in the horse racing betting odds failing to hit the ground running in their much-anticipated seasonal reappearances — much to the disappointment of the punters who had them in their trackers or turned up at the course to see a star in action.

While there is still plenty of time to turn their form around before the Festival, it’s not a good look to have a blemish on your race record. So, with that said, read on as a take a look at four horses who disappointed on their first outings of this campaign.  

Honeysuckle

The biggest shock of this season thus far arguably came at Fairyhouse earlier this month, as Honeysuckle’s 16-race unbeaten record came to an abrupt end in the Hatton’s Grace Hurdle — a Grade 1 contest she has won on three previous occasions.

Not many horses have the ability to make a racecourse fall silent, but when the Henry de Bromhead-trained mare had nothing left to give after the final hurdle, falling back to third behind Teahupoo and Klassical Dream, the crowd at Fairyhouse was in shock. 

Frustratingly for jumps racing fans, it puts her blockbuster clash with Constitution Hill at next year’s Champion Hurdle in serious doubt.

A Plus Tard

It hasn’t been the best of starts to the season for history-maker Rachael Blackmore, with just one win in her last 24 rides at the time of writing, and she was aboard 2022 Cheltenham Gold Cup winner A Plus Tard as he disappointed at Haydock last month.

Also from De Bromhead’s Knockeen stable, the Cheveley Park Stud-owned horse looked like a good pick to spend your free bet offers on to retain his Gold Cup crown in March. The 1/2F for the Betfair Chase, a race the eight-year-old won by 22 lengths last year, A Plus Tard was pulled up three out.

As a result, A Plus Tard has dropped back to third in the Gold Cup betting — coming in behind Galopin Des Champs and L’Homme Presse.

Shishkin

After looking far from his best when he amazingly came from behind to beat Energumene in the Clarence House Chase at Ascot last January before being pulled up in the Queen Mother Champion Chase at Cheltenham, Nicky Henderson confirmed that they had discovered Shishkin had a rare bone condition.

However, after a 262-day break, the eight-year-old returned to action for the Tinkle Creek at Sandown earlier this month and there was a lot of fanfare surrounding his reappearance. But it wasn’t his day, being kicked by another horse at the start before finishing third after an inarticulate run by his high standards.

Shishkin is now way back at 16/1 for the Queen Mother, behind Energumene, Tinkle Creek winner Edwardstone and Ferny Hallow.

Bob Olinger

Unfortunately for De Bromhead and Blackmore, the duo feature on this list for a third time — making you wonder if they are about to go through a transitional period at Knockeen after a meteoric rise to the top of the sport in the last few seasons.

Bob Olinger has been another of their star names in that time, winning twice at the Cheltenham Festival, albeit being handed some luck as Galopin Des Champs fell at the final hurdle when well clear at the last in the Turners Novices’ Chase back in March.

The seven-year-old was reverted back to hurdles this year, but came second on his second debut over the obstacles — finishing two lengths behind Home By The Less in the Grade 2 Lismullen Hurdle at Navan.

Is it Worth Investing in Dash Crypto?

The Editor
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Is it Worth Investing in Dash Crypto?
Is it Worth Investing in Dash Crypto?
Is it Worth Investing in Dash Crypto?

When the crypto market drops and lives through its bear trend, many people consider buying crypto assets and holding them until the trend changes in the opposite direction and the prices climb up. That is a wise decision, unlike what most people do – when the market grows, they massively buy coins, and when the market drops – they withdraw. All the matter is in buying assets at a low price and selling them at a much higher price, and that is how the income on the crypto market formed. 

In this article, we will talk about one worthy crypto asset and explain why it is a good idea to add this coin to your investment portfolio during this bear market period. So, greet Dash crypto.

Dash Essence and Dash Price

When we analyze any crypto project, the first thing we pay attention to is price, market capitalization and technology, that is, the application and usefulness of the project. Created as a fork of Litecoin, Dash is a platform for instant and cheap currency conversion and delivery to any point in the globe while maintaining the total anonymity of a person who conducts transactions. 

Dash cryptocurrency price is $41.43, trade volume exceeds $77 million, and the market cap is over $456 million (the end of November 2022).

Key things about Dash:

  • Run by masternodes
  • Total decentralization
  • Based on the Proof-of-Stake mechanism
  • Low-cost currency transactions
  • Support for cash, PayPal
  • Speedy payments.

Looking at Dash’s technology, we can say that it can really boost its user base in the future and approach the market leaders, so it is definitely worth buying Dash crypto.

Looking at the Dash chart, we can see that the Dash coin price declined over the past year against the backdrop of the entire market drop. However, crypto analysts claim the Dash cryptocurrency price can reach $109 in 2023. So take your chance to buy Dash now, as its price is affordable, and you are welcome to the WhiteBIT crypto platform for trading and investment. 

M4 Cow trafficking racket exposed

The Editor
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M4 Cow trafficking racket exposed
Cow trafficking racket exposed
Cow trafficking racket exposed

The M4 motorway has become a cow trafficking hot spot according to Welsh police.

Wales, which only has one breed of cow – Welsh Black cattle.– has become a hotbed of cow trafficking as Welsh farmers seek to expand their cow breeding capabilities.

Daily numbers of up to 50 Jersey, Friesian, Aberdeen Angus, and other cow types are being intercepted.on their way to Wales by Welsh cow police as they seek to stem the influx of ‘foreign’.cows being illegally smuggled into Wales by European cow trafficking and smuggling gangs.

Welsh cow deficit

Cows, also known as ‘cattle’ are scarce in Wales due to Welsh farmers’ obsession with sheep. European Cattle smuggling gangs are exploiting this cow deficit by ferrying-in cows.from across Europe on small boats specially reinforced with cattle grids, under the noses of bent French border police who couldn’t cow less.

According to Welsh police, the ‘bovine boat people’ (animals) make their way across the English Channel from Jersey,.an island that is over-abundant in cattle. Jersey cows are considered the prettiest of cow breeds by those who like their cows a warm beige colour,.but are generally disregarded as attractive by those who prefer their cow skins to be a combination of black and white blotchy patches.

What is your favourite cow type?

Other cow breeds of the beige/brown/red variety being smuggled into Wales via the M4.– sometimes in the back of family hatchbacks – include, The Red Angus, The Limousin, and the Hereford – although the latter tends to display a white face which can be, when viewed up close or in photographs, upsetting to cow purists and small children.

Boringest Cow

Probably the most boring cow to have been intercepted on its way to Wales is the Red Poll breed. Red Polls are basically brown, with a large rear end and no horns. They are s a dual-purpose breed developed in England in the latter half of the 19th century and are a cross of the Norfolk Red beef cattle and Suffolk Dun dairy cattle breeds. In other words, Red Polls are NFN.

Tesco releases ‘all-year-round’ Xmas gifts range

The Editor
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Tesco releases ‘all-year-round’ Xmas gifts range
Tesco releases ‘all-year-round’ Xmas gifts range
Tesco releases ‘all-year-round’ Xmas gifts range

Tesco has released its range of ‘all-year-round’ gift products – that last for 365 days a year!

Designed as an antidote to today’s environmentally friendly ‘reusable’ gifts, and aiming to provide value at the expense of longevity for friends, family, and loved ones, the volumous gifts are sure to make a lasting impression – on the lifespan of the planet.

The ‘one-a-day’ disposable Tesco Xmas gift range includes:-

‘Wear’n’chuck’ plain black socks

x 365 pairs (£36.50). Perfect for dad at Xmas as they are holy. Come in variety of cheese flavours.

Toothbrushes preloaded with toothpaste

x 365 (£36.50). Use once, gob out spit, and chuck. Made in Taiwan from harmful microplastics.

Vented plastic hairbrushes

x 365 (£36.50). Eliminates the problem of congealed hair-gather between the bristles. Use it once to groom and prim, then chuck it straight in the bin (not the recycling).

One-a-day door keys

x 365 (£36.50). Nickel-brass mixture. Don’t bother trying not to lose your keys. Just close the door behind you and sling the key in the bushes on your way out. Pick up another one from the box when you return home and let yourself in. NB Product materials will degrade after 1,000 years.

12 Piece Porcelain Dinner Set

x 365 (). Includes 4,380 dinner plates, side plates, and cereal bowls, all crafted from porcelain. Microwaveable safe for ease of use. NB DISHWASHER UNSAFE. Don’t bother washing. Just chuck ‘em out of the kitchen window or dump them in your neighbours’ front garden. Sorted.

See the full range at www.tescocheapshitkillingtheplanet.com/365daysayear

Suffolk pub wards of ‘scummy’ parents this Christmas

The Editor
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Suffolk pub wards of ‘scummy’ parents this Christmas
Suffolk pub wards of ‘scummy’ parents this Christmas

A pub in West Suffolk has notified neglectful, ‘scummy’ patrons that their unattended children will be served energy drinks and encouraged to swear. And who can blame them?

What is worse than being in a pub on a Friday afternoon, getting hammered with your mates, than the sight of a snot-nosed kid, wandering around, spilling cheese & onion crisps all over the carpet, looking for its mummy so it can have a go on the fruit machine?

Just take them home FFS!

You had your chance. You were young – without kids. The whole world was your oyster, but you let down your guard, and now you have kids. Not our problem. Deal with it… preferably at home.

Scummy Parents

You made your bed, now lie in it – with your multiple annoying kids. Take them home and read them a bedtime story for once. Curl up with them, cuddle them and tell them as they, listen, spellbound, how their grandad was a hero in the Navy in the second world war. He wasn’t of course. He was a draft-dodging, alcoholic gambler who never did an honest day’s work in his life, but what the hell. Lying to kids is normal. We all do it. Take Santa Clause for example. As if! A big fat 60-year-old obsessed with sneaking into children’s bedrooms after dark to leave them presents? WTF? Who thought that up?

The soft play area is closed

So… keep your kids at home this Christmas instead of bringing them to the pub. Take them to the cinema to see Arthur Christmas III. We don’t want them – or you – in our grown-up boozers,  where we play darts, pool, and ‘guess the barmaid’s bra size’. We don’t want to see you struggling to heave your double pushchair over the hearth of the pub door, adorned with all its kiddie paraphernalia – rattles, comfort blankets, nappy bags and dropped soft toys, etc. We don’t want to wait behind you at the bar as you loudly and incompetently attempt to order chicken nuggets and chips for your eight kids with two Orange and Passion Fruit J2O’s, four Apple Fruit Shoots, one Coke, and a lemonade… FFS. Isn’t Mothercare still open?

Having said that…

We at the Suffolk Gazette, love children and would like to take this opportunity to wish each and every one of them a very, very merry Christmas!

Just not in our local.

NFN – Normal for Norfolk explained

The Editor
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NFN – Normal for Norfolk explained
NFN - Normal for Norfolk explained
NFN – Normal for Norfolk explained

We, at the Suffolk Gazette, love people from Norfolk! Even if they are all a bunch of inbreeds and dumbasses. After all, they make us look so much more normal. Because everything is Normal for Norfolk!

Turnipweeds

Although the SG would never promote such an outdated stereotype (much), ‘Normal for Norfolk’ is a commonly used term to refer to someone or something that is peculiar, weird, odd, or just plain retarded. It is based on the (probably) untrue perception, formulated and utilized by doctors and Social Services in Norfolk, that the county in the east of England is a hive of backward, small-minded, unsophisticated turnipweeds whose senses of culture, fashion, and art never surpassed that of Piltdown man.

NFN – Normal for Norfolk

In order to quickly summarize a patient’s condition as being relatively normal for someone from the farm-heavy county, Doctors record the letters ‘NFN’ against their personal details. The abbreviation also enables medical staff to share insults and ridicule their patients without being found out.

Plenty of Fish – in the next village.

But is there any truth to the allegation of widespread inbreeding and congenital medical disorders in Norfolk? Of course there is! Just look at a map of the UK. Notice how the towns and villages of Norfolk are much further apart than in other areas of the country. Before the invention of Baron Karl von Drais, Laufmaschine bicycle in 1817, unless they owned a horse and cart, most people could only shag as far as they could walk in daylight hours in a single day.

Hollywood rodent’s Roadmaster disaster

The Editor
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Hollywood rodent’s Roadmaster disaster
Hollywood rodent’s Roadmaster disaster
Hollywood rodent’s Roadmaster

A Hollywood rodent’s Roadmaster disaster has made headlines in Felixstowe, Suffolk.

A-List mouse, Stuart Little was brought down to earth with a bump when his 1953 Buick Roadmaster.Convertible was slapped with a £70 Fine for parking on a double yellow outside the Spa Pavillion in Felixstowe.

Packing vermin

Little, star of the Stuart Little franchise of hit movies, delighted local theatre-goers. when he agreed to appear as ‘Mouse in Boots’.in the ‘Little Dick Whittington’ panto showing at the Pavillion this winter season,.selling out the first 14 nights in under three hours.

Roadmaster problems

Unaware of local parking regulations, the tiny, furry heartthrob – voiced by my Michael J Fox in the movies.– rolled-up outside the theatre on first night in his classic convertible and parked wherever the hell he liked.

After a rip-roaring performance that earned the renowned rodent a 12-minute standing ovation,.the fatigued but happy mouse returned to his ride. It was only then that the full force of local parking services descended upon him to shatter his joyful mood.

His beloved remote-controlled Roadmaster valued at over $90 had been clamped – with a bulldog clip and a suitcase padlock. A notice to pay the fine and call for the release of the vehicle was affixed to the windscreen on a postage stamp.

Size isn’t everything

Being the charming celebrity mouse that he is, Mr Little joked about the unfortunate ‘welcome’ his car received in Felixstowe.at a press conference the following evening.

Asked why he didn’t see the double yellow lines emblazoned across his chosen parking space,.the comedic nose-twitcher elicited nervous gasps and uproarious laughter when he quipped “Because the markings were not much bigger than my cock!”

‘Little D*ck Whittington’ runs at the Spa Pavillion, Felixstowe until 13th January 2035.

Wilton Sampaio – Meet the new king of France!

The Editor
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Wilton Sampaio – Meet the new king of France!
Wilton Sampaio - Meet the new king of France!
Not the real king of France but Brazillian World Cup referee, Wilton Sampaio.

French President, Emmanuel Macron announced last night that France is to have a new king for the first time in 230 years, named: Wilton Sampaio

A republic since the abolition of the monarchy in 1792. France will see Brazillian World Cup referee, Wilton Sampaio crowned king on Sunday, December 18th December shortly after France are declared World Football Champions, after defeating Argentina in a close final, the score of which is yet to be agreed.

Wilton Sampaio – The King

Along with the usual perks of being King of France such as: living in the Palace of Versailles,.having control of the English Channel, and being the legal owner of all the cockerels in France, etc, comes a cash bonus of €1,000,000 paid in used notes in advance of the France V England quarterfinal match held last night in the Al Bayt Stadium, Qatar.

Wilton Sampaio officiated the match in which ‘Les Bleus’ came out worthy victors – if you measure success by cheating, that is.

The French committed 14 fouls to England’s 10, and were awarded 3 yellow cards to England’s 1. Although these stats do not include the other fifty-or-so French fouls that went unnoticed, including the one that led to France’s first goal, and the clear penalty that England captain, Harry Kane should have been awarded in the first half.

Meet the new King of France

Wilton Sampaio, accepted the honorary coronation in a secret meeting.that allegedly took place in the underground carpark of the Al Bayt stadium early last Saturday morning. Attending the alleged meeting were the referee, FIFA President, Gianni Infantino,.and the President of the French Football Federation, Noël Le Graët.

An investigative reporter working for the Suffolk Gazette witnessed the secret rendezvous. “Sampaio arrived first and went and stood in a shady alcove near the corner of the car park.

He was wearing sunglasses but I could tell it was him because he was wearing an official French football shirt.which appeared to have been autographed by the whole team.

Then the others arrived, also in sunglasses. It was clearly all very hush-hush, apart from the ‘La Marseillaise’.– the national anthem of France – which was blaring out from the Peugeot 5008 SUV that Le Graët arrived in. Infantino was clearly the go-between, carrying the holdall, the royal crown, and interpreting in French & Portuguese.

They exchanged the holdall and the crown, and after shaking hands, each quietly snuck way.”

Allakhazam!

It is a little-known fact that when away from his officiating duties, Wilton Sampaio (40) from Teresina de Goiás, Brazil, is an amateur magician! He often attends children’s parties entertaining them with his juggling, card tricks, and sleight of hand.

One of his most popular tricks is called ‘the disappearing red card’. Anyone watching Saturday’s match will have twice seen him practicing it during the game.

First, his red card magically disappeared each time Antoine Griezmann committed a second yellow card offence,.preventing the French midfielder from being sent off, and then most impressively, his red card again vanished into thin air when Theo Hernandez barged over England’s Mason Mount in the penalty area denying him a goal-scoring opportunity.

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