LLANDUDNO, WALES – Chaos erupted in the car park of a Tesco in Llandudno, when shoppers were attacked by a notorious flock of seagulls, swooping down in daylight heists to snatch meal deals and packaged snacks.
By Our Norfolk Reporter: Ian Bred
And while most of these seagulls operate as common opportunists, it appears the mastermind behind these daylight raids may be none other than the legendary ‘Seagull 73,’ East Anglia’s most infamous winged criminal.
For the uninitiated, Seagull 73 is no ordinary bird. His legacy dates back to his earliest days when, at just five weeks old, he tumbled out of his cliff-top nest, and in a daring display of beak-to-paw combat, saved his mother from an Alsatian by pecking the dog’s eyes out. From that moment on, Seagull 73 became a local legend, patrolling the skies of Lowestoft with a terrifying mix of daring, cunning, and an unmatched ability to swipe a freshly fried donut from a holidaymaker’s hand before they’ve even realized it was gone.
But this Lowestoft hero (or villain, depending on whether you’ve lost your chips to him) has been linked to a series of increasingly bold snack thefts in North Wales, where eyewitnesses report a particularly audacious gull matching Seagull 73’s description.
Why did they ask Evans?
Richard Evans, a recent victim of one such brazen attack, recounted his ordeal to the Suffolk Gazette. “I was minding my own business, placing my shopping—some hand sanitizer and a packet of sweets—on my car roof when out of nowhere, this gull swooped down and snatched my sweets.” Little did Evans know, this was no random act of bird-brained thievery; he had been targeted by the avian mastermind himself.
Displaying the same steely determination that made him a household name in East Anglia, Seagull 73 expertly manoeuvred through the car park, dodging Evans’ desperate attempts at a counter-attack. “I lobbed my hand sanitizer at him,” Evans admits, “but Seagull 73 was too quick. The packaging was ruined, but I managed to save the sweets. He just stared at me, like it was all a game.”
Seagull attack victim
Local mechanic Howard Evans also had a run-in with the feathered felon, losing a sandwich to the same skyborne menace. “I shouted some choice words at the bird, but I think I confused the guy I was on the phone with more than I scared the seagull, isn’t it?” he lamented.
Despite numerous complaints, Tesco and Asda remain tight-lipped about the feathered menace. However, in Lowestoft, locals are hardly surprised. “That bird has been dodging authorities for years,” remarked one resident. “You’ll never catch Seagull 73.”
Meanwhile: Seagulls declare it safe for you to return to the beach