First, it was Cumbria, then Wiltshire, then Exeter, now, the over-sexed, working-class FILTH of Glasgow are also using sidewalk ’Sin Bins’ to cover their trail of lewd behaviour.

Regular readers of the SUFFOLK GAZETTE will recall how Cumbria County Council ‘rubbed cum in our faces’ as it renamed its local places of interest with FILTHY, SEX-related names. Then, it was Wiltshire Council, South West England, which renamed a local beauty spot ‘Wilsford cum Lake’ in a bid to attract DISGUSTING tourists, then the backward people of Exeter in Devon joined the bandwagon of FILTH by introducing sidewalk cum bins for locals to ejaculate into! DISGUSTING!!

Now, Glasgow, a city already known for being inhabited by DIRTY, UNEDUCATED, LOW-LIFE SCUM has descended further into the abyss of MORAL DECLINE with the introduction of municipal cum bins.

Tartan tarts

Also used by local sex workers (huirs) to dispose of used condoms, the ‘Sin Bins’ as they have been dubbed by locals have caused uproar in the local community – especially among more conservative/nationalist senior citizens.

Glasgow sex innovation

Local resident, Jock Strap, chair of the Glasgow chapter of the campaign group Residents Against Everything (RAGE) told this reporter “Ah dah ken whit th’ warld is comin’ tae. Aw ah want is tae be able tae eat mah shortcake, stroke mah red beard, bevvy mah Mcewans, an’ listen tae mah Rod Stewart graphite loons withit havin’ other people’s cum rubbed in mah coopon. is ‘at tay much tae ask?”

Local habitual gambler and long-time alcoholic, Douglas Blair, is more positive on the council’s spermicidal innovation. He told me “Ah, aye flin’ mah cum in th’ sin bin efter i’ve hud a causey wenk. Whaur else ur ye supposed tae pit it?” At least I think that’s what he said?

So there we have it. The people of Glasgow (sex) split right down the middle on the issue of the new sidewalk ‘Sin Bins’.

Next Week! Read about Glasgow City Council’s new ‘In Glasgow, we bin our GUM’ campaign to rid its streets of unsightly chewing gum.