In an unexpected development, football pundit-turned political supremo Gary Lineker is to take over as the next Conservative Party chairman.
Oliver Dowden quit as chairman early this morning after disastrous by-election results in Tiverton and Honiton and Wakefield.
But the Conservatives have moved quickly to appoint Lineker, who will promote diversity, inclusivity, trans agendas and even turn up on picket lines.
Tory insider Lorraine Fisher, 34, said: “Gary truly is a man – sorry, person – of the people.
“He will lead the Tories into a bright new future and unite the nation.
“He will promote our policy of being kind and we look forward to him starting.”
Lineker will remain as Match of the Day host.
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