Everyone knows that Cumbrians are depraved sexual perverts, but do they really have to rub their filthy Cum in our faces?

Cumbria County Council, or ‘Cumbria C*unt* Council’ as they prefer to call themselves.(filth) have begun to erect (filth) £60,000 worth of new signage across the cunty. It is reported that the move was inspired by a small clique of sex-obsessed.(filth) pervert councillors who are determined to impose their (filthy) liberal views on sex on the citizens of Cumbria, not to mention the rest of us.

Cumbrians

Signs displaying legends like ‘We come to Cum’,.and ‘Holiday in Cum’ are designed to attract the kind of (filthy) people that frankly, we don’t want in Suffolk. Tsk.

Other Cumbrian landmarks and sites of special interest are also undergoing a (filth) makeover.

Castlerigg Stone Circle, an atmospheric monument built around 3000BC is to be re-labelled.‘*as******* S**** Circle’ (Ass circle), Lowther Castle & Gardens will become ‘Low**** *as*** * ******s’ (Low ass), Carlisle Cathedral is to be named ‘C**li*** **t*e*ral’(Cliteral), and the National Trust – Sizergh Castle and Gardens will be henceforth know as… wait for it… ‘*a***nal Trust – Sizergh’ (The anal trust – Sizebergh). Filth!

F*ck Cumbria

Our advice is to f*ck Cumbria and holiday in beautiful, family-orientated, respectable, East Suffolk! ‘*as* S**folk’ (Ass folk).