EXCLUSIVE
By Ivor Traktor
A Suffolk farmer who bought 20 life-sized sex dolls at a police auction is now using them as scarecrows.
Frank Morris, 58, believes the blow-up dolls’ full, voluptuous lips and generously-proportioned bodies are just the thing to scare off a blue tit or two.
Mr Morris, of Comfort Farm, near Beccles, revealed: “Gone are the days when you could stick a melon on top of a broom handle and throw a sack over it.
“If you want to scare a crow these days you have to be creative.”
To protect their modesty, Mr Morris has dressed each doll in clothes purchased from local charity shops.
“It’s all been tastefully done,” he insisted, adding that he has to inspect each ‘lady’ every morning to ensure she was still pumped up.
The stolen sex dolls were seized when police stopped a lorry outside of Great Cornard, near Sudbury. Unable to contact the manufacturer, the police placed the dolls at auction, where they were snapped up by Mr Morris, the only bidder.
His wife Ethel returned home from a shopping trip to find the 20 naked, life-sized inflatable dolls in her living room. Mr Morris has not seen his wife since.
Mr Morris is expecting the new scarecrows to improve his crop yield significantly, and other farmers are rumoured to be watching with interest. Indeed, Ebay has already seen prices skyrocket during a sex-doll bidding war.
Mr Morris was not concerned that the roads around his fields may become congested due to drivers slowing down to stare.
“With me driving around in my tractor they’ll barely get out of second gear anyway,” he said.
It is believed the local Women’s Institute has complained about the sex dolls. But Mr Morris claimed the members’ husbands were very supportive of his idea.
The news comes just months after music sensation Ed Sheeran was mistaken for a scarecrow in a field near his family home in Framlingham.
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