Uproar broke out in the quaint English County of Suffolk yesterday as pigs decided they had enough of their traditional sty-bound lives.

Tired of wallowing in mud and hay, the rebellious Marxist swine sought a radical change and a taste of the “big pig city” dream.

In a series of events that read like scenes from George Orwell’s ‘Animal Farm’, a clever pig named Sir Oinkington III, a self-proclaimed connoisseur of human culture, who lived on High Farm in rural East Suffolk, stumbled upon a classified ad for a stylish town apartment while reading the farmer’s discarded newspapers. Enthralled by the idea of not having to live, eat and sleep in his own shit, he decided to start an uprising.

We are all equal…

With oinks and snorts, Sir Oinkington III argued for porkers to have the right to live in houses alongside humans. Other pigs in the county initially dismissed his idea as hogwash, but his charismatic squeals soon won them over. They formed the “Pigs for Integration into Sophisticated Society” (P.I.S.S.) movement and began campaigning to live in peace, side by side with humans – most of whom are fatter than they are.

After their mass escape, Sir Oinkington helped the socialist snorters quickly adapt to city life. Wearing fashionable bow ties and bonnets, they attended tea parties, discussed literature, and even took up playing the piano with their foretrotters. They danced, sang, and made friends with the locals, impressing everyone with their wit, intellect, and charm.

…but some are more equal than others

The integration of the pigs of East Suffolk has been so successful in fact, that Sir Oinkington III was recently appointed as the Conservative leader of East Suffolk Council. I asked one local resident what he thought of the idea of a pig controlling the entire budget for East Suffolk.

“A tory pig in charge of the council? No change there then.”