Guns ‘n’ hoses: Army refuels tank battalion at Sainsbury’s petrol pump
Flying blind: British Airways to fund 200 blind and partially sighted trainee pilots in unprecedented diversity drive
Leeds Roma vandals make a mess of community relations
Who’s Next for England Football Coach? A Lineup of Legendary Losers
Deep shag on special offer at C*nty Carpet shop
High hopes for Refugee Olympic Team’s pole vaulters
Art Garfunkel paints bridge over troubled water blue
Brits plump for Russian rather than Islamic takeover of UK – Poll
Rod Stewart to star in remake of cult horror, Beetlejuice
Spain V England Football: A Lesson from History
All out of Zebra? Halal Convenience Store has you covered
Starmer’s dad was a poo lorry driver
Defeated Tory MP Jeremy Hackett will miss high office
Spanish Senorita cause of ‘Bell-end’ Jude Bellingham’s crotch grab
RAF Pilot Refuels Fighter Jet at Brandon Gas Station
Sunak targets Red Wall voters with pub games ploy
Cattle do it! Husbandman herds hoofed heifers on hood
How Ed Sheeran inspired an East Suffolk property boom
Rich kids eject ticketless illegal migrants from Glastonbury Festival
Starmer promises new £20 note featuring Jimmy Savile if Labour wins election
British election turns into The Muppet Show
