Boris face was spotted in curry, this bizarre occurrence at a secret late-night meeting of top toffee-nosed Tories. May be the catalyst for a Boris Johnson return to number 10!

The secret meeting was held in the wake of Liz Truss’s balls-up of the UK economy. Conservative party plotters gathered in secret around a beer. And a curry to decide who will be loopy Liz’s replacement as PM.

All the Splunts

As reported, the location of the secret dinner meeting attended by unnamed figures. Such as: Rishi Sunak, Penny Mordaunt, Suella Braverman, Jeremy Splunt and Ben Wallace was a complete secret from everyone – except the guy who delivered the curry with Boris face on it.

An anonymous insider who spoke to the Suffolk Gazette told us: “So I had delivered the take-away. I’m standing there in the kitchen of Rishi Sunak’s house (he wanted me to carry it for him) and I’m waiting for a tip. All these posh Tories were there – he doesn’t have any working-class friends. They start to open up the cartons and help themselves. Then, this bloke who just looked like a generic Tory toff yelled out ‘It’s Boris!’. I found out later it was Sir Graham Brady, Chairman of the 1922 committee.”

Boris face Curry delivery

The Deliveroo rider adjusted his arse on the east of his Suzuki 125 and went on… “So everyone looks over at him and he’s sitting on a kitchen chair with a plate of rice and curry on his lap. He spins it around so everyone can see and… to be fair… it’s old Bojo innit? Made out of chicken curry, aka Boris face curry”.

We asked Sir Graham Brady, Sushi Rishi and the others present for comment. But unsurprisingly, no-one would admit they were at the curry plotters party.

Is it written in the Star of India? Is the keema schemer, Baji Bojo planning a return to Downing Street? Who knows?