APPLE STORE, LONDON – Tech giant, Apple has announced the release of a new accessory designed to enhance the audio experience of their popular EarPods. Apple’s EarPods get a bass boost – meet the new ‘Asspod’ subwoofer.
By Our Consumer Correspondent: Colin Allcabs
Alongside their sleek design and high-quality sound. Users can now opt for an additional subwoofer component. Aptly named the “Asspod,” to take their music to the next level.
The Asspod, touted as a revolutionary advancement in audio technology. It offers users the opportunity to feel the bass frequencies of their favourite tunes more emphatically. How, you ask?
Well, in a move that has left many choking on their breakfast cereal. The Asspod is designed to be inserted into the anus, allowing for a more immersive bass experience.
Dirty Bass
While some may question the hygiene and comfort of such a feature, Apple assures customers that the Asspod, which resembles a traditional butt plug, has been meticulously designed with ergonomics and user experience in mind. The sleek, lightweight design ensures a secure fit, while the durable construction promises longevity.
However, the announcement has sparked controversy and caused watering eyes among consumers and industry experts alike. Some have criticized Apple for taking innovation a step too far, while others have expressed concerns about the potential health risks associated with inserting electronic devices into bodily orifices.
Low-end
In response to the backlash, Apple has defended their decision, stating that the Asspod, which comes with a health warning, is entirely optional and aimed at users seeking a more immersive audio experience. They emphasize that the product undergoes rigorous testing to ensure safety and comfort for all users.
Despite the mixed reactions, it seems that Apple is committed to pushing the boundaries of audio technology. Whether the Asspod will revolutionize the way we listen to music or simply become a footnote in the annals of tech history remains to be seen.
The Asspod™ is best suited to 1970s disco music.
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