THE INTENET –  The popular AI-based baby generator has predicted that the hypothetical love child of Josef Stalin and Chairman Mao would grow up to become none other than Keir Starmer, the current Prime Minister of the United Kingdom.

By Our Political Correspondent: Polly Ticks

The prediction was made using AIARSE’s free baby generator software. Which combines the genetic profiles of two individuals (or in this case, two notorious communist leaders) to forecast the potential offspring. The software is famous for its uncanny ability to spark delight, outrage and laughter in equal measure.

Critics of Starmer, long unimpressed by what they perceive as his increasingly authoritarian tendencies, seized on the AI’s results as proof of their suspicions. “It all makes sense now,” tweeted one particularly indignant Tory MP. “The man’s obsession with silencing dissent and controlling narratives—it’s straight out of the How to Be a Dictator playbook.”

Bastard

While the AI prediction was meant as a joke (a disclaimer on the site reads: “Results may not reflect actual genetic reality”). The resemblance struck a chord. Starmer’s critics cite his support for anti-protest legislation and an alleged aversion to freedom of expression. As behaviours reminiscent of the two iron-fisted leaders whose supposed legacy he carries.

AI Baby Generator

A spokesperson for AIARSE defended their creation, stating, “We stand by our algorithms. Even when they unintentionally provide eerily accurate satire.” Meanwhile, Starmer’s office declined to comment, leaving Britain to wonder if they should now address him as “Comrade Keir.”

The controversy has boosted AIARSE’s web traffic tenfold. Proving that nothing brings the masses together quite like digitally generated absurdity or an iron-fisted communist dictator.

Meanwhile: Gary Lineker to become new Conservative Party chairman