One lane of the northbound carriageway of the A134 near Nowton Park has been closed to ease congestion.

According to Suffolk Police, the unusually heavy traffic on the road due south of Bury St Edmunds, is due to ‘people in vehicles trying to go places.’ Sergeant Phil Chipotle of the Suffolk traffic division told the GAZETTE, “Hour hintelligence tells us that theee people who his clogging up the roads is mainly made up of tourists, common working men in white vans, HGV drivers, hand hother, regular people goin’ about their daily business.”

Asked why the closure of a lane was likely to reduce congestion rather than exacerbate it, Sgt Chipotle replied “Well I never! What a silly question! Its hobvious, hisn’t it? Why? If one closes a lane then, by definition, one is reducing traffic flow. Whereas before there was two lanes of congestion, now there is honly one.”

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