Monday, November 18, 2024

Kim Jong-un buys Suffolk caravan

WORLD EXCLUSIVE
By Suffolk Gazette staff

North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un has bought himself a holiday caravan on the Suffolk coast.

He fell in love with the area after joining a secret visit to the county to inspect the Sizewell nuclear power station.

But although he was unimpressed with the facility, believing his country’s coal power is more efficient, he fell in love instantly with the countryside and coast.

He ordered staff to find him an ideal holiday home where he could relax unnoticed away from prying eyes – and the caravan, just up the road from Sizewell, fitted the bill perfectly.

The 38-foot Horizon Cavalier static caravan is described as the perfect ‘starter’ home, coming with three bedrooms, family shower room, separate toilet, central heating and double glazing.

However, it’s the view over the North Sea which has apparently enchanted Kim Jong-un, who has already spent a week recently in his new holiday home.

The Suffolk Gazette knows where the caravan is, but has agreed not to reveal its exact location. But we have chosen to publish the view from his front window.

caravan view

horizon cavalier caravan

The leader, famous for looking after his hair, will be pleased to know nearby Leiston has a range of salons, including the Hair Shed, which will be able to keep his mop in top condition during his holidays.

He’ll also be able to enjoy superb takeaway curries from the Cinnamon in Leiston High Street, while a North Korean diplomatic insider confirmed a trip to the Adnams brewery just up the coast in Southwold is high on the leader’s wish list. He is also a huge fan of sea fishing.

kim jong-un fishing

The owners of the caravan park declined to talk publicly about their infamous new guest, but said in a statement: “We keep details of all our guests private. Our location is wonderful and the perfect spot for a young world leader who wants to relax and get away from it all.”

Local leisure businesses are now vying to attract Kim Jong-un, who would generate fantastic publicity. Thorpeness Golf Club has already made inquiries to the North Korean regime, pointing out that the Dear Leader would easily beat his father’s amazing record of having scored 11 holes in one on his very first game of golf.

EDIT: READ OUR SUBSEQUENT WORLD EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH KIM JONG-UN HERE

Don’t be a mug

Buy a funny mug from Dirty Old Goat, the Suffolk Gazette’s potty pottery empire. Here are some current favourites…

🤞 Get our stories on email

Receive awesome content in your inbox, every week.

We don’t spam! Read more in our privacy policy

Share
Be a shining star, follow us on Twitter!