LOWESTOFT, SUFFOLK – A resident of Lowestoft, Suffolk, awoke yesterday to the bizarre sight of none other than Anubis. The ancient Egyptian god of the dead, casually sitting in the doorway of a neighbour’s semi-detached house.

By Our Norfolk Reporter: Ian Bred

The jackal-headed deity, known for his duties overseeing mummification and guiding souls to the afterlife. He appeared relaxed, as if enjoying a brief staycation in East Anglia.

The sighting was first reported by local dog-walker, Brenda Tupp, 87, who initially thought she was witnessing an elaborate prank. “At first, I thought it was an elaborate prank. You know, one of those Halloween decorations, but then he turned and looked at me with those glowing eyes. You don’t forget a look like that,” she told The Lowestoft Gazette. “It’s not every day you bump into the god of embalming outside a two-up two-down.”

Day of the Jackal

Several photos snapped by startled residents show Anubis seated serenely in the doorway.  Some have speculated that the god’s sudden reappearance is tied to recent fears of severe flooding in the area. With superstitious locals suggesting that he may be preparing for an influx of souls.

“Given his job description, I’m not thrilled he’s decided to visit now,” said one nervous neighbour, clutching her flood insurance documents. “What does he know that we don’t?”

Authorities, however, have remained tight-lipped, with a spokesperson for the local council simply stating. “We’re keeping an eye on the situation. If it’s a divine matter, it’s above our pay grade.”

For now, Lowestoft is left wondering whether this celestial visit is a fleeting mythological cameo or a foreboding sign that the tides—both literal and metaphorical—are about to turn.

Meanwhile: Suffolk man had sex with 450 tractors