10 DOWNING STREET, LONDON – PM Keir Starmer appeared to have embraced the spirit of thrift when he stuck a poster on the door of 10 Downing Street reading, “Please donate your clothes here.”

While most would assume this was a call for charity, insiders suggest it’s actually a thinly veiled plea for more freebies, especially after Starmer and his wife, Lady Victoria, have been making headlines for their lavish wardrobe upgrades.

If the suit fits

The sign, placed in plain sight of Westminster’s foot traffic, has prompted speculation that PM Starmer household had decided to collect clothes for charity as a damage limitation exercise.

After all, one can only accept so many designer suits and free tickets to Taylor Swift concerts before the donation train comes to a screeching halt. A source close to the Prime Minister, likely the family’s Savile Row tailor, whispered that Starmer had been caught red-handed, failing to declare over £100,000 worth of “gifts,” and is now using a more public approach to restock his wardrobe.

Critics of the Labour leader, particularly Deputy Chairman of the Conservative Party, Lee Anderson, were quick to seize the opportunity to further mock Starmer. “First, he accepts luxury goods, now he’s practically asking for hand-me-downs at the door of No. 10,” Anderson quipped, adding that this was another example of how Starmer’s leadership “just doesn’t fit.”

Meanwhile, Downing Street staff are reportedly keeping an eye out for any mysterious bin bags full of couture arriving under the guise of charity donations. Until then, it seems Starmer’s quest for free clothes continues – this time with an official government seal of approval.

Meanwhile: Starmer promises new £20 note featuring Jimmy Savile