Monday, September 16, 2024

Charles of Arabia: King to star in epic desert remake

Charles of Arabia: King to star in epic desert remake

EALING STUDIOS, EALING – King Charles III is reportedly eyeing a career in the movies, with hopes of becoming the next big-screen sensation.

By Our Royal Editor: Jane Seymour

Sources close to the Palace have revealed that the King recently auditioned for none other than Steven Spielberg, who is planning a remake of the iconic epic Lawrence of Arabia.

According to insiders, Spielberg was in London last month and couldn’t resist the allure of Buckingham Palace as an impromptu audition venue. His Majesty, seizing the opportunity to fulfil what appears to be a lifelong dream, donned traditional Middle Eastern attire to impress the legendary director as he minced about the palace reciting lines such as: “Do you think I’m just anybody, Ali? Do you?”

King Charles, who had clearly been preparing for this moment, appeared in full Arab costume – an ankle-length thawb, a perfectly folded ghutra atop his head, and an Igaal cord securing it in place.

The pièce de résistance? A spirited performance of the Ardha dance, a traditional Saudi Arabian sword dance he mastered during a 2014 visit to the Saudi Kingdom.

Camel ye faithful

Reports from the Palace suggest that the King’s audition was nothing short of ‘cinematic’. Sword in hand, he enthusiastically twirled and paraded around, faithfully channelling his inner Peter O’Toole while surrounded by applauding footmen.

Whether Spielberg was impressed or simply too polite to decline remains unclear, but what is certain is that shooting for the remake will kick off at Camber Sands in East Sussex next summer. Should the King land the role, it will mark a historic transition from ruling a kingdom to ruling the silver screen.

Meanwhile: King Charles opens fast food restaurant

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