THE ISLAND OF SODOR – Thomas the tank engine was spotted being whisked away towards the coast of the Island of Sodor. Sparking widespread panic and confusion among fans.
By Our Railway Correspondent: Casey Jones
Last seen strapped to the back of a flatbed truck. ‘Devious’ Diesel denies involvement in Thomas the Tank Engine kidnap drama
Eyewitnesses say the abduction took place under the cover of night. With Thomas securely fastened and ominously silent—likely a result of the gag reportedly stuffed into his funnel. Rumours swirling around the island suggest that a wealthy Arab investor is behind the audacious heist. Allegedly timed to coincide with the upcoming nationalisation of the UK’s rail network under the new Labour Government.
Thomas the Tank Engine fans
Insiders close to the situation claim that the investor. Known for his extensive collection of vintage trains and peculiar sense of humour. He was infuriated by the government’s plans to bring the railways back under public ownership. “Thomas was always his favourite,” said an anonymous source. “But he couldn’t bear the thought of him being nationalised and subjected to bureaucratic inefficiency.”
As the nation collectively gasps in horror, Sir Topham Hatt, aka ‘the Fat Controller’ of Sodor, has vowed to rescue Thomas. Although critics have pointed out that he himself may have been asleep at the wheel, as usual.
Meanwhile, a #SaveThomas campaign has erupted on social media, with users demanding the government take immediate action to recover the nation’s most cherished engine.
Netherland Reverend W Awdry
As of now, the whereabouts of Thomas, the creation of English Anglican minister and railway enthusiast, the Reverend Wilbert Awdry, remains unknown, although unconfirmed reports suggest he may be in the Netherlands, en route to a luxurious private railway somewhere in the Middle East.
Authorities are urging calm, though with Thomas gone, the Sodor railways have come to a screeching halt—much to the delight of “Devious” Diesel, Thomas’s antagonist who has suspiciously remained silent on the matter.
Meanwhile: Police tanks save posh resorts from commoners