BURY ST EDMUNDS, SUFFOLK – Suffolk Tennis Club has unveiled a novel addition to the women’s restroom facilities: dual lavatory bowls in each cubicle!

Consumer Correspondent: Colin Allcabs

The rationale behind this peculiar setup? To accommodate the club’s women’s doubles team during their mid-match comfort breaks.

Lucinda Davenport, Chairwoman of the club, explained the reasoning behind this groundbreaking decision to the SUFFOLK GAZETTE. “It’s unfair to only provide one toilet,” declared Davenport in a high-pitched, hoity-toity voice, “when both ladies may require to pee at the same time! We are committed to ensuring that our players’ she-wee needs are met with the utmost consideration.”

The new twin-toilet cubicles have been installed to reduce the wait time during those crucial moments when nature calls, thus preventing any potential disruption to the flow of the game. “The last thing we want is for one of our star players to be stuck crossing her legs while her partner takes her turn,” Davenport added. “This way, both can get back on the court as quickly as possible.”

The installation has sparked a wave of mixed reactions from club members and social media commentators. Some laud the club’s forward-thinking approach to equality and efficiency, while others have questioned the necessity and practicality of the setup.

“Do they expect us to hold hands while we pee?” quipped club member and doubles enthusiast, Felicity Puddleworth. “I mean, I love my doubles partner, but this is taking team spirit to a whole new level.”

Tennis Balls

Another player, who appeared very heavy-set with poorly covered-up six o’clock shadow, giggled as they told our reporter “I’m a lady, and I just love the new lavvies. I can’t wait to go and take a pee… I just hope that my tennis partner doesn’t mind looking at my cock while she’s taking a shit! Tee-hee-hee!”