IPSWICH, SUFFOLK – A sweet little boy waited impatiently at Ipswich airport for his mommy to come home after being imprisoned by the BBC (British Bastard Corporation) for making a late licence fee for her TV.

Deidre Loveheart, 34, a crippled charity worker who suffers from brain cancer was imprisoned for six months by the BBC after she failed to fully pay her TV license on time.

Late licence fee saga

In court, Loveheart pleaded with highly paid BBC lawyers not to give her a custodial sentence as her son, Brendan, who is blind and has special needs would not be able to feed himself while she was inside. Selfless Loveheart, also claimed that being wheelchair-bound would make it difficult for her to manoeuvre around the prison and go to the toilet etc.

When asked why she had failed to make her Licence fee payments on time, the kind-hearted, Salvation Army charity shop worker told presiding judge, Lord Justice Marmaduke Rassie-Farquharson VII that she had tried, but extra shifts she had tried to take on cleaning toilets in Gary Lineker’s $9,000,000 mansion had dried up because he had given the shifts to an illegal immigrant whom Lineker could pay 80% of what he would have had to pay her. On top of that, on the very day that she had planned to make the licence fee payment she had been admitted to hospital to receive emergency treatment after blood had started to seep out of her ears.

British Bastard Corporation

Loveheart told the court, that less than 24 hours after missing the payment, the BBC – whose upper management, board, and on-screen ‘talent’ receive six, sometimes seven-figure salaries subsidized by license fee payers like herself, sent in the black-clad, fascist Bastard TV license hit squad to apprehend and drag her off to prison.

Yesterday however, Deidre’s nightmare ended after she paid late licence fee when she was flown back to Ipswich to reunite with son, Brendan who was waiting for her with a big smile and a welcome home banner.

Defunding is too good for them

We contacted the BBC to ask why they hadn’t featured Deidre’s homecoming on the 6 O’Clock news. A posh-sounding twenty-something graduate called us back to say that they wouldn’t be covering the story as they were too busy broadcasting endless diversity-based news bulletins,  heavily biased towards their lefty, woke warrior activist mates in business, academia and show business.