A Satanic High Priest who dialled 999, fifty-three times in one evening was… wait for it… drunk.

Satanic Priest David Craghope, 34 of Rectory Road, Whepstead, West Suffolk repeatedly dialled for emergency services before hanging-up each time his call was answered. Police eventually traced the calls and attended Mr Craghope’s address where he was questioned over the calls.

Satanic Priest

Satanic Priest Craghope, who it turns out runs the local occultist sect. The Temple of the Goat, was discovered lying naked on his living room floor inside a pentacle. he had squirted out of a bottle of tomato ketchup. Amongst the amulets, charm stones, severed goat’s hoofs, scrunched cans of Tennent’s Extra,.and stale prawn crackers strewn around his squalid front room, the potty priest of paganism was found mumbling incantations in some strange, indecipherable dialect which later turned out to be East Anglian English.

Sorry, the antichrist isn’t here right now

When asked why he had made the nuisance 999 calls. Satanic Priest Craghope explained through hiccups that he was actually attempting to call Satan direct on 666 but had had his phone upside down.

Emergency services are often pestered with nuisance calls which are a drain on their time and resources.

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Joanne Capgun from Bury St Edmunds, was handed a 3-month suspended sentence.last July after she admitted three counts of attempting to enter the Loose Women Dream Holiday competition prize draw 175 times by dialling 999 instead of 09068 78 60 60. Asked how she could make such an obvious mistake, she told the court that she had “got confused”.because she had been watching a lot of re-runs of ‘The Bill’ on UK Gold at the time.

72-year-old Vera Loggins, another emergency services pest caller from Metfield in Suffolk,.was given a verbal warning from officers after she recently called on the fire service to attend her gingerbread bungalow claiming that her bedroom carpet was on fire and that a rattlesnake had appeared from under her bed. Officers arriving on the scene discovered no fire, or snake, but rather that the old bird had overdosed on her Olanzapine anti-schizophrenia tablets mistaking them for her Barkleys mini peppermints.