John Jeffs, 74 was caught performing sexual act with a HENRY HOOVER in church while wearing ladies stockings. He claims that the only reason he did it was because his diabetes wasn’t properly medicated.

This happened in Middleton Cheney, Northamptonshire where he was working as a pastoral manager at a christian faith based group. He was in his office when a church goer spotted him standing by the hoover as it was positioned up between two chairs.

The witness walked past and said Jeffs knew he was being watched but continued to perform the sex act with a Hoover because he was feeling ‘naughty’.

Jeff’s solicitor told the court that the retired vet was going through a hard time because he was mourning the death of his wife, ignoring his health, and his diabetes was not medicated.

John Jeffs had to pay £845 in court fees and £200 in compensation to the witness.

He has been placed on the sex offenders list.

Conclusion:

Lorraine Fisher, 34, vacuum engineer had this to say, “Any retired vet from now on has to present a special license to buy a hoover.”

She also stated, “This is something that a teenager would do. I guess we turn into kids when we are old. When you’re young you can blame it on the alcohol. when you’re old you can blame it on the diabetes medication.”