A representative from Oxford University has announced that they will begin offering degrees in poker for the 2023 intake.

Rather than equip their students with the knowledge of ancient kings and queens, dead languages, and archaic terminology that nobody finds impressive, they will instead teach them about something that might actually help them get ahead in life.

A degree in poker would show that those who graduate are able to think strategically, bluff when necessary, and thoroughly analyse their opponents.

Many believe this will equip them better in real life than a degree in Slavonic Studies or Roman History would. But how would the degree in poker work?

The degree will be taught by poker experts, who have already announced they won’t be wearing the traditional robes and definitely won’t be hosting suppers to socialise with their students.

One expert, who gained poker fame online, pondered, “Why can’t they just hang out in the SU like at every other university?” Participants to the degree are urged to study up on figures such as Daniel Negreanu, a giant in the world of poker.

A poker degree would present an opportunity for those undertaking it to learn skills in strategy and to gain an appreciation for modern times. Poker, especially online poker from Paddy Power, reflects the latest technology with its live variant featuring a real dealer, while many of its other variants test players’ abilities to think analytically as well as being able to take risks. In order to reflect this, a module will be taught on online poker.

The poker degree will feature a module on bluffing, which the representative of Oxford claimed is already a skill of many of their graduates. One of the board of governors has even suggested that if it is successful, future degrees could be awarded in backgammon, bridge, and even tiddlywinks. “We want to reach a broader variety of students, some of which might be fond of the popular counter game.”

Examinations would be undertaken in The Hall at Christ Church and would likely involve a tournament in poker involving all who are studying the subject.

Professors and lecturers may also participate. Experts suggest that the three years of intense study, with a possible year out, would adequately prepare all who matriculate for a life of putting their poker skills to good use. International relations, politics, and careers in the media await those who can show they have the strategic know-how and the ability to play the game.

Cambridge University – not to be outdone – will announce that their 2022 intake can study the art of TikTok, the social media revolution that allows anyone to become a viral star. Many sceptics suggest that TikTok will have fallen from grace by then, and the course should be widened to focus on other social media platforms. LinkedIn’s CEO is especially eager to have a course dedicated to the business networking site, but an insider suggested that nobody really uses LinkedIn and certainly nobody would remember their password for it for an entire three-year degree.

Whether the poker degree at Oxford University is successful or not, it is definitely a huge gamble for the ancient university to offer something that might benefit those living in the present day. But, one that might prove necessary.