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Starmer promises new £20 note featuring Jimmy Savile if Labour wins election

Starmer promises new £20 note featuring Jimmy Savile if Labour wins election
Starmer promises new £20 note featuring Jimmy Savile if Labour wins election

WESTMINSTER, LONDON – Sir Keir Starmer, leader of the Labour Party, has signalled that Labour will issue a new £20 note featuring disgraced paedophile Jimmy Savile if they win the upcoming general election.

By Our: Political Correspondent: Polly Ticks

This announcement comes amidst ongoing discussions about Starmer’s role in the Jimmy Savile scandal during his tenure as head of the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) in 2009.

Despite the controversy, Starmer seems determined to ‘turn the page’ on the Savile affair by issuing the note which it is alleged he promised to Savile back in the 2006 – around the same time that he cleared his mate, then P.M. Tony Blair of any involvement in the Cash-for-Honours scandal – despite the incriminating evidence put before him.

Now then, now then

Starmer’s involvement in the decision not to prosecute Savile is still shrouded in mystery. At the time, the CPS, under Starmer’s leadership, cited “insufficient evidence” as the reason for not pursuing charges against Savile, even though everyone in the country, including children knew that the creepy ‘Disc Jockey’ was a necrophiliac – illegal under British law.

The allegations, which were handled by local police and a reviewing lawyer for the CPS, later led to criticism of both the CPS and the police for their handling of the situation. However, no direct blame was placed on Starmer himself, who was, after all, the boss – funny that.

Sir Keir told the SUFFOLK GAZETTE “I am a man of my word. A promise is a promise. It’s time to turn the page on Savile. And by the way, did I tell you that my dad worked in a tool factory?”

Lefty Labour Lawyers

Meanwhile, within Labour ranks, the move has been greeted with jubilation, especially amongst those with historic links to The Paedophile Information Exchange (PIE) a pro-paedophile activist group, founded in October 1974 which campaigned for the abolition of the age of consent. The organization’s membership was mainly young, left-leaning professional-educated paedophiles, including youth and care workers.

Through their involvement with the National Council for Civil Liberties (now Liberty), several senior Labour Party members were linked to PIE including, Harriet Harman and her husband Jack Dromey, as well as former Secretary of State for Health, Patricia Hewitt who later apologized for working with the group, saying she had been “naive and wrong to accept that PIE was a counselling and campaign group”

As the election draws near, it remains to be seen whether this controversial proposal will have any impact on Labour’s election chances, although one immediate consequence is a new slogan: “Keir’ll fix it!” which it is rumoured will feature heavily in Labour’s campaign run-in.

Meanwhile: Wee Jimmy Krankie asks to leave home again

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