As we gear up for another thrilling Premier League season, it is time to venture into the wacky world of oddball predictions that could spice up the 2024/25 campaign.
With Manchester City expected to win the title for the 273rd year in row, we ditch the safe bets and offer some predictions that may have you spluttering into your pre-match pint.
Chelsea set to Plunder More South American Nobodies
Chelsea’s transfer policy since Todd Boehly and his cronies took over the club has made Roman Abramovich’s time in charge look extremely prudent.
They have cultivated a penchant for snapping up teenage prodigies from South America in a mind-boggling bid to unearth the new Neymar Jr.
Deivid Washington, Andrey Santos and Angelo Gabriel were all touted as the ‘next big thing’ but have failed miserably to make their mark with Chelsea.
Only Santos could squirm into the first team squad, but he is unlikely to feature regularly. The rest are likely to be loaned to sister club RC Strasbourg or some obscure team in the Netherlands.
Nevertheless, keep an eye on Chelsea signing even more unknown South Americans, who could either become the next Pele or be loaned out to Turkish clubs in January.
Despite stockpiling enough young South American talent to fill a samba band, the club seems hellbent on adding even more to their ranks.
Irish Prodigy Fancied to Fall Even Further
Evan Ferguson burst onto the scene as the Republic of Ireland’s saviour after a breakthrough season at Brighton & Hove Albion.
There were comparisons to Irish legend Robbie Keane, but a drastic drop in form, confidence and consistency has made a mockery evaluation.
There’s a chance he could make doubters bite their tongue in the coming season, or he could just be another bang-average striker overhyped to be something he’s not.
Brighton still believe the 19-year-old Irishman could become a world beater in the near future. However, sports bettors would be well advised to take a cautious approach.
Ferguson has been touted as potential future Golden Boot winner, but you would get long odds on him achieving the feat this season.
There is more chance of Ferguson being sent on loan to newly promoted Ipswich Town, where he would most likely struggle to get into double figures.
The Tractor Boys are one of the bookmakers’ favourites to make an immediate return to the Championship, and odds of 9/10 to finish in the bottom three look tempting.
Some of the best football betting apps in Ireland will likely be inundated with wagers on Ipswich to be relegated if Ferguson arrives on loan and fails to rediscover this form.
Alexander-Arnold Midfield Experiment is Doomed to Fail
Former Liverpool manager Jurgen Klopp tinkered with his set-up and tweaked Trent Alexander-Arnold into an inverted right-back. If only he knew the chaos he would unleash with that decision.
Now fans are locked in heated debates about where his best position is. Right-back. That’s the only answer, and anything else is going into the bin.
Alexander-Arnold will never be a midfielder. His supporters argue he is a decent passer. Some go a step further and claim he is world class. As your grandma may once have said – claptrap.
Having proven he is a liability at right-back, the move into midfield has not improved matters. Alexander-Arnold’s first touch is clumsy, he can’t keep the ball and he his positional awareness is lousy.
Moving him into the centre of the pitch – an area that requires guile, control and concentration the most – is truly one of the worst ideas anyone has ever come up with.
New Liverpool boss Arne Slot is sensible enough to stop this nonsense before it spirals out of control. Alexander-Arnold is a right-back – and not a very good one.
Ten Hag Will be Sacked Before the end of September
Much of Manchester United’s post-season news was dominated by the anticipation surrounding Erik ten Hag’s long-term future at Old Trafford.
United endured their worst-ever Premier League season, finishing outside the European places in eighth. Despite their abysmal campaign, the Red Devils still squirmed their way into a continental tournament after beating Manchester City in the FA Cup final to qualify for the Europa League.
That triumph seems to have added a spring in Ten Hag’s step as he now views himself as a maverick of the game.
The Dutchman criticised England manager Gareth Southgate for his tactical approach in the 1-0 win over Serbia at the 2024 European Championship. In fairness, he was right as Southgate is hopeless.
However, he also made a snide comment after reports emerged that Thomas Tuchel was in the running to replace him, referring to himself as the best manager for United.
For someone whose future at Old Trafford was hanging by a thread just a few weeks ago, Ten Hag has a lofty opinion about himself, but he may want to do the talking on the pitch.
Don’t be surprised if the Dutch tactician is booted out inside the first few weeks of the new season after failing to spark a revival in Unted’s league fortunes.
The last thing we need is another manager who talks a lot without anything tangible to show for it. We already have Arsenal’s Mikel Arteta for that.